He Touched Me & I Let Him Love Me
by Halawen
Summary: Clare is pregnant but doesn't know who the dad is and now she's in Paris for the summer but she won't get pregnant alone Maya too will become pregnant, the difference being Maya wants to be pregnant and Clare wants anything but. Claya friendship, Maya/Miles, Tris/Chewy, Clowen and Clallas, Clare/Adam friendship, Clew and Clianca friendships. Rated M, drama, fluff and even smut!
1. Little Miss Didn't Do RIght

**Welcome to my new story! First of all the legal stuff, I own nothing but the idea because if I owned DeGrassi Owen would still be on it!**

**Ok important stuff to know about this story:**

**It's A/U and Zoe doesn't exist in my universe. **

**Alli graduated and early and went to MIT.**

**Clare does not and will not get cancer and Adam will not die cause I simply refuse to acknowledge they killed Adam at all.**

**Dallas is not a father and has no ex named Vanessa and never had a crush on Alli. **

**Also Miles lives with his mother but they are still wealthy.**

**The rest of it will be explained in back story during this chapter.**

**Ch.1 Little Miss Didn't Do Right**

**(CLARE)**

"Okay we're here have fun in Paris and don't do anything I wouldn't do." Owen says as he drops Tris, Maya and I off at DeGrassi to catch the bus to the airport and a plane to Paris for an eight week emersion trip.

"Clare aren't you getting out of the car?" Maya asks opening my door and tugging at my sleeve when I don't move.

"You okay Clare you've been quite the whole drive?" Owen questions as he gets our bags out of the trunk with Tris.

"Yeah fine I just…" my sentence trails off as I get out of the SUV and start walking to the bus.

"What I don't get a hug?" Owen complains and I look back to see him hugging Tris and Maya.

I sigh and bite my lip walking back to Owen and giving him a quick hug. "Bye see you in eight weeks." I call to Owen walking quickly to the bus and go in.

Jenna and Connor, break apart from their lovesick gaze to wave at me when I enter the bus. I wave back and take a set in the row across from them. Maya and Tris sit in the seats in front of me, two boys I don't know and must be new at DeGrassi sit across from them. Madam Jean-Aux takes roll and goes over instructions, then the bus starts moving. Owen is still standing by his SUV looking at me and I have to look away, biting my lip again.

"You didn't give Owen much of a hug he was kind of hurt," Tris tells me and I feel worse than I did before.

"I thought you two had gotten really close in the last few months?" Maya asks.

"We have," I reply quietly.

"_Closer than you think," _I add silently as Maya and Tris begin talking with the two boys in the next seats whom I learn are Miles and Winston, also known as Chewy.

Never thought I'd be friends with Owen Milligan but it started after Cam's death. Eli found Cam's body and we'd already been having problems in our relationship but after that he just snapped! He started taking MDMA almost daily, usually after school but occasionally at school. He started to become abusive, he never hit me or anything but between highs he was verbally and emotionally abusive. I tried to rationalize it and tell myself things would get better but they didn't. One day, a week after Cam's death, Eli had been getting high every day since, we were arguing in the hall after school and we thought everyone was gone. He was yelling at me and telling me I was a terrible person and then Dallas, Owen and Luke appeared. They hit Eli and took me out of there to the Torres house but not before Luke told Eli we were done and to stay away from me. Drew, Bianca and Adam were all at the Torres house already and they found out what happened. Adam ended his friendship with Eli right then.

Eli didn't seem to care at all, by the next day he was dating a goth chick named Lucinda and hanging out with the goth kids. It hurt to break up with him and it hurt to see him with somebody new so soon. I started spending a lot of time at the Torres house after that, Adam was head over heels in love with Becky and often gone with her but I didn't mind because I was glad he'd found someone to love him that way. I'd actually become very close to Bianca and considered her one of my best friends now. I'd also gotten very close to Drew so when he managed to get himself elected to student council president next year and he asked me to be VP I accepted. I'd also been spending a lot of time with Dallas, Owen and Luke and I mean a lot of time. Dallas was repeating like Drew and Owen was still living at home and would be attending TU this year. Bianca was the only one leaving us to go to Wilfred Laurier University but she was still engaged to Drew. And Eli was finally gone at NYU so I wouldn't have to see him any longer. Not to mention I was on a bus on my way to the airport to board a plane to Paris so I should be happy but I wasn't. In fact I was petrified and it had nothing to do with the eight hour plane ride we were about to take.

I was petrified because my period was late and I was pretty much a hundred percent certain I was pregnant. I had yet to take a pregnancy test, I planned to do that once we got to Paris and I was six thousand kilometers from home so I could sneak off alone and be sure my mom wouldn't find out. It wasn't just the certainty that I was pregnant that had me terrified it was also the fact that I didn't know who the father was. It's not as though I had been randomly sleeping with a ton of men since the breakup with Eli or anything. In fact I'd had sex exactly twice, just with two different guys and on consecutive nights. I knew the guys quite well now too but as sure as I was that I was pregnant I was sure neither of them wanted to be a teen dad. The possibilities for baby daddy were Owen Milligan and Mike Dallas! Like I said I'd gotten quite close to the both of them since my breakup with Eli.

As close as we'd gotten I'd never dated either one and despite the fact that they had both been very sober when they'd had sex with me I was fairly sure I was only a friend to them. It's not like it's typically hard to convince a guy to have sex, especially not guys like Owen and Dallas. Oh I don't mean to make them sound like monsters or creeps they are both actually very good guys. I spent a lot of my time with them flirting, innocently flirting as I had no intentions of doing anything else or even dating them and I think they knew that and had no other intentions either. They'd flirt back and it felt good after Eli to have that fun and affection. They did more cheering me up than even Adam did, if they ever caught me watching him in the hall they'd distract me and make me smile. I wish I'd kept it as innocent flirting and never taken it as far as I did.

Prom night was the night that forever changed my life and me, even if I didn't get pregnant that night it is the night I lost my virginity. It was our last day of school for the year, for Owen, Bianca and the rest graduating class it was their last day of high school forever. We'd been let out early and prom was at eight, I was going in a group with Owen, Dallas, Drew, Bianca, Becky, Adam, Jenna, Connor, Fiona, Imogen, Alli, Luke and Dave. The three couples hit the dance floor as soon as we'd arrived and abandoned us single people to the table which left me with four guys. After complimenting my royal purple and black dress Dallas was the first to ask me to dance. It was while dancing with Dallas that I saw Eli dancing with and making out with Lucinda. It's not like I hadn't seen them in the halls but knowing that he and I should have been attending this dance together it was like pouring salt into the wound. I excused myself and did my best to pull myself together in the washroom, which was working fine until I went back out and caught Eli and Lucinda having sex in the coat closet.

I sort of exploded into this volcanic eruption of emotions but instead of screaming at them, or hurting them I chose to hurt myself. I didn't cut myself or anything, no I snuck into the kitchen at the hotel where prom was being held and swiped a bottle of brandy. It was about half full but I drank nearly the second half before Dallas found me. I was pretty drunk at this moment and everything in the world was hilarious to me. Dallas, knowing he couldn't take me home took me to his place, also known as the Torres house. He texted Adam to let him know, I found this out the next morning. Audra and Omar were in Kingston for the night so when we got there we were alone. He gave me some coffee, and put me on the sofa, I think he scolded me for drinking too which I found funny given that he'd given me my first beer. At some point I got myself into his lap and was playing with his ears, he said something about me being a silly drunk and then I kissed him.

The kissing became making out, the making out led to undressing and then we were in Dallas' bed and making love. I remember him being sweet and going slow but there wasn't pain that night, the alcohol had numbed all my senses too much. Even in the alcohol haze it had felt amazingly good when I did orgasm but it did seem like we made love for a very long time before I had an orgasm. He'd helped me into one of his shirts after that and I'd fallen asleep in his bed. No one else knows we had sex, they know I was drunk and Dallas helped me to his place and put me to bed. I didn't feel exactly great the next morning but I never threw up or really had a hangover and after a couple aspirin and some coffee I was ready for Owen and Bianca's graduation.

This leads me to my second night of love making and this time I wasn't drunk. After the ceremony and the family BBQ at the school Fiona, whose family had gotten their wealth back, threw a huge graduation/goodbye party at her loft. She was moving to Italy and they would be selling the loft. Well even Declan and Mr. Coyne flew in to see her graduate and of course they had to meet Imogen. Mr. and Mrs. Coyne were not at the party but I was and so were Eli and Lucinda! They were all over each other and she was talking about how she was following Eli to NYU, they were getting an apartment and she was getting a full time job. They were disgustingly happy and when Eli made an off handed comment about her being the best girl friend he's ever had and how he now knows what true love is I had to get out of there. Owen caught me before I reached the door and pulled me into what used to be Drew's room. He offered to break Eli's legs while wiping my tears and I pounced on him.

Yep I initiated the sex, pretty sure I initiated it both times actually but prom night's still a little fuzzy. This time I hadn't had a drop of alcohol, of course there wasn't any at the party I just wanted to feel…anything, anything but hurt and I knew that orgasms would feel amazing! It's not like Owen was protesting mind you, the second I attached my lips to his he kissed me back. I gripped his shirt and ripped off and he unzipped my dress, within a few minutes we were lying on the bed and he was thrusting inside of me. This time it did hurt a little but he was slow and gentle until the pain was gone. No one heard us, the music was loud and I knew from Drew that the walls were very sound proofed. It was exactly what I needed and I felt so much better afterward, walking out with a smile on my face and nothing Eli or Lucinda did or said the rest of the night bothered me.

I still had my purity ring on, mostly to fool my mother but also to fool everyone else. Not another soul, aside from Dallas and Owen themselves, knew that I'd lost my virginity and Dallas and Owen weren't aware that I'd slept with the other. We never talked about it; they didn't brag about it, we had agreed afterward to just never speak of it. So Dallas knew that he's taken my virginity but had no idea I'd had sex after that and especially no idea that I'd slept with Owen. And Owen knew that I'd had sex with him in Drew's old room at Fiona's grad party and probably assumed he'd taken my virginity because he had no idea I'd slept with Dallas the night before. Two incredible nights of passion and both times we hadn't used protection, I have no excuse for my stupidity of not thinking to use protection when I had sex with Owen but when I slept with Dallas I was drunk. I guess both nights my emotions overran my ability to think and now I was pregnant with a child that belonged to them.

I had no intentions of ever telling Owen or Dallas, or anyone that I was pregnant. I'd give the baby up and just hide the fact that I was pregnant. I couldn't tell Dallas or Owen, admit my mistake and stupidity and ruin their lives. No it wasn't necessary I could get through this on my own. I just wish it hadn't strained my friendship with them so much in the last week. For the first couple of weeks after everything was fine, great even. Eli and Lucinda had left for New York so I didn't have to see or hear from them. I went back to innocently flirting and so did Owen and Dallas, never talking or even hinting at the fact that we'd slept together. We hung out together, did movie nights at the Torres house, went to the beach, even helped move Bianca into her dorm room, driving to Waterloo together in Owen's SUV to do so.

It wasn't until ten days ago when my period was due and never came that things went bad. I started avoiding Owen and Dallas as much as I could, making excuses and other plans but I still spent some time with them so they wouldn't feel hurt or get suspicious. Owen had always planned to drive Maya, Tris and I to the school today so I couldn't avoid him today, the last week I'd told him and Dallas that I couldn't hang out because I was staying at my dad's house. In reality it had been ten days with no period and I just knew I was pregnant and being around Owen or Dallas only made me feel guilty and anxious.

"Clare, earth to Clare we're at the airport get off the bus," Jenna says tugging at my sleeve.

"Sorry I was just thinking," I apologize standing up.

"Yeah I saw that, deep in thought you okay you look all spacey." Jenna comments as we follow Miles and Winston off the bus.

"Fine just a lot on my mind," I reply.

"You want to talk about it?" She asks.

Jenna's been pregnant before, K.C. wasn't exactly thrilled at first but he came around and she would understand better than anyone else, she even gave her baby up for adoption but Ty was almost two months old by then. I don't want to talk about it though; I don't want to admit that it's really happening.

"No, it's nothing I'm just tired." I reply.

"Well our plane ride is almost eight hours and we'll arrive in Paris a day ahead so you can sleep on the plane." Connor tells me.

"Connor we're all sleeping on the plane." Jenna laughs as we get our bags.

"Hey we need to call Owen," Tris says after we've gone through security and were sitting at our gate waiting to board.

"Oh yeah, we told him we'd call when we were through security. You want to call and talk to him Clare?" Maya offers.

"No I uh have to use the washroom, just tell him I said hi." I reply and walk away to find a washroom.

**(MAYA)**

"I can't believe we're in Paris!" I squealed getting out of the van that had driven me, Clare, Tris, Miles and Chewy to our boarding house for the next eight weeks.

"I cannot wait to eat a real French crepe for breakfast," Tris smiled.

"They sell them from food carts we can find one as soon as we unpack," Miles tells us.

"Miles has been to Paris three times," Winston explains.

"Let's get our bags in so we can go explore, I want to see everything," I smiled excitedly.

"And I'll show you everything," Miles said with a flirty grin and I blushed.

"Hey Clare come get your bags so…where's Clare?" I asked looking in the van and around it with no sign of Clare.

"She just walked in," Jenna tells us.

"She left her bags in the car, something's up with her she's been acting weird all week." I remark.

"Don't worry we're three strong guys we can get her bags," Miles says.

The four of us grab the bags and go in; Madam tells us what rooms we have. Boys are on the east wing and luckily Miles, Winston and Tris are rooming together. Girls on the west wing and I thankfully get roomed with Jenna and Clare because I don't know anyone else on this trip besides Tris, Miles and Winston. When Jenna and I get up to the room Clare is there gazing out the window with that melancholy lost in her head look again. There are bunk beds against one wall and a single bed against the other which Clare is sitting on.

"I guess we have the bunk beds then," Jenna comments as we put the bags down.

"I want the top one," I tell her climbing up.

Our room is a good size, there's a large closet and three small dressers, a vanity, a washroom for the three of us to share and a balcony. Clare doesn't even seem to have registered the fact that Jenna and I have entered the room.

"Come on we'll have to unpack later, Madam wants us at orientation and then Connor and I are going to the Eifel Tower." Jenna says.

Clare has yet to move so I look at Jenna and we go over, each of us taking one of her hands and pulling her up with us. We find the classroom and sit down with the guys including Connor when everyone is there Madam starts. After going over basic terms and street signs that will be important to us, she gives us all a map of the city and sends us off.

"Okay let's go change and explore," I insist.

"We have to call Owen first," Tris reminds me pulling out his phone.

"Hey bro…yep we're all here safe and sound…we have rooms on opposite sides but Maya and Clare are rooming together…yeah Clare's uh…" Tris says looking around, as do the rest of us and Clare has vanished again so I grab the phone.

"Hey Owen you know Clare felt just gross after that plane ride and she wanted a shower." I tell him and it could be where she ran off to.

"Oh okay I'll talk to her next time I guess. Let's video chat tomorrow say 10 for you guys, 4 for me and just before your curfew." Owen suggests.

"Great sounds good, tomorrow then bye Owen," I say and hang up giving Tris back his phone.

"Okay let's meet out front in twenty I'm starving and Maya if you do find Clare see if you can get her to come with us, she's been much too despondent for being in Paris." Tris says.

"Yeah I will, see you guys out front in a bit." I tell them and go back to my room.

Jenna is at the vanity and having changed her clothes is freshening her makeup. Clare is in the washroom and I do hear water running but it's the sink, a minute later she opens the washroom door just as I'm changing in the closet.

"We'll off for a romantic date with Connor, see you guys tonight." Jenna says rushing out the door.

"Clare change your clothes and come exploring with us!" I insist to her.

"No I…" she starts to argue.

"No arguments, we're going for crepes and you need to eat breakfast." I remind her.

"Alright I'm coming, is it just you and Tris?" She asks going to her bag and getting out a denim skirt and light blue short sleeve top.

"No Miles and Winston are coming with us, they're really nice though and I think Tris has a crush on Winston." I tell her and she gives me a look twisting her mouth to one side.

"Hey I wasn't so out of it on the bus ride, plane ride and van ride that I didn't hear you and Miles flirting. You talked the whole bus ride, you flirted before going to sleep on the plane and you talked during the whole bus ride." She teases lightly as she goes into the washroom and closes the door part way to change.

"You think he was flirting back? He's very nice and really cute don't you think?" I question gushing a little.

"I think he seems sweet and Owen would approve," she tells me coming out of the washroom.

"Yeah speaking of Owen, you disappeared from the room really fast when we were calling Owen. If Owen did something wrong or something you didn't like then just talk to him." I urge her.

"No it's not..." she pauses biting her lip and looking anxious or pensive. "Come on the others are waiting for us." She says grabbing my hand and her purse.

I grab mine too and we go downstairs where the guys are waiting. "Miles and Winston this is our good friend Clare, she'll be a senior this year she's good friends with Tristan's brother Owen which is why she's good friends with us too." I introduce Clare to the new guys.

After they all exchange a nice to meet you we start walking. We only have to go a block before we come across a crepe stand. Clare gets a very simple one with strawberries and whipped cream. I get one with nutella, whipped cream, bananas and strawberries. Winston and Miles get savory ones and Tris gets what Winston got. After breakfast we went to the Notre Dame cathedral before catching a bus to the Arc De Triomphe. After exploring the area around the Arc we stopped at a café for lunch, at which Clare got tea and sandwich. While we were eating Clare's phone rang. It was after one for us so it was about seven in Toronto. Clare pulled it from her purse and looked at who was calling before answering.

"Hey Adam…yep all safe and sound…yeah I share a room with Jenna and Maya it's nice…exploring with Maya, Tris and two new boys Miles and Winston…yeah they're nice…no uh we have to go but uh tell Dallas I said hi okay bye then." She says and hangs up abruptly I exchange a look with Tris.

"Did you just hang up on Adam because Dallas wanted to say hi?" I ask her.

"No what makes you say that?" She asks picking at her sandwich.

"Because you were having a nice conversation with Adam and then got nervous and told him we had to go and to tell Dallas hi before hanging up." I reply.

"I didn't hang up because Dallas wanted to talk to me," she insists.

"Well I believe you Clare," Miles says and she gives him a grateful smile then he turns to me. "So milady what would you like to do now?" He asks.

"Can we see the Louvre?" I ask.

"Yep it's back the other way," Miles says standing up and offering me his hand.

"You know you guys go ahead I'll see you guys back at the house," Clare says and then starts walking away from us.

"Clare wait you can't go by yourself," I call after her.

"I have my map I'll be fine," she calls back.

"If you get lost there's five guys and two girls that will have our heads for letting you get lost!" I call after her but she disappears into the crowd.

"Five guys?" Winston questions arching his eyebrows.

"And two girls?" Miles grins.

"No I didn't mean that the way it sounded, not guys she's dating or ever dated. Adam the one that called is her best friend he'd kill us for losing her, then his brother Drew and Dallas lives with them, Tristan's brother Owen, then there's Luke. And Jenna and Bianca are two of her best friends and Bianca is dating Adam's brother." I explain.

"You lost me like four people ago," Winston replies.

"She has a lot of male friends," Tris clarifies.

"Got it, so to the Louvre then," Miles says offering me his arm.

We take a bus back to the Louvre and get the discounted price since we're visiting students. Miles escorts me through the museum by keeping hold of my hand while Tris and Winston lag behind us a little to sort of be alone. When we left the museum we walked along the Seine and Miles held my hand the whole way. Then we walked through Tuileries Garden as it turned from dusk to dark, Winston started telling Tris about the constellations and Miles walked me over to a bench sitting down facing me with our knees touching. He leans over and kisses me softly.

"Be my girlfriend," he says more than asks but I don't care.

I smile take his other hand and join our lips again, opening my mouth this time and deepening the kiss.

**(CLARE)**

After leaving Maya and the others it takes me over an hour to find a pharmacy but I finally do. After purchasing a home pregnancy test I take a cab back to the house so I don't wander the city looking for it. Once I'm absolutely sure that Jenna is still out I lock the door to our room and the door to the washroom before I open the box and read the instructions and yes they had English instructions. Of course it says to wait and do it first thing in the morning! I can't wait until morning! I'm going to go crazy! I hide the test in my bathrobe pocket and go back out to the room. I can't just sit here and think about it I really will go crazy so back out to the city I go. I just start wandering and then I come across a clinic, it's one for mainly tourists it looks like as it's on the same block as two hostels and our mansion that was converted to school dorms for trips like ours. It looks decent and clean so I go in hoping they can do a pregnancy test.

"Hi I uh…I need a pregnancy test." I tell the reception nurse.

"Fill these out," the nurse says with a heavy French accent.

I take the clipboard and sit down, there are a few other tourists in the clinic including a German couple in their late 30's, the female appears to be in pain. I know they're German because I heard them talk. There is a very attractive young man who looks American or maybe Italian, he's eyeing me but has not said anything. If I was here for any reason other than a pregnancy test I met be eyeing him back. Then there's two men in their twenties and they are most definitely American, they are talking loudly so it's quite obvious. One of them has twisted his ankle which is why they are here. As mine is the least urgent reason for being here I wait at the clinic for over three hours before I'm seen.

"Hullo I am Dr. Belval I understand you are here for a pregnancy test Clare." The doctor introduces himself when he comes in the room.

"Yes," I nod.

"Very good we will draw some blood," he says and somehow it doesn't sound so scary in a French accent. A nurse comes in and they take some blood, then they have me do a urine test as well. "Congratulations Miss Edwards you are pregnant," the doctor tells me but even in a French accent it this still sounds petrifying.

The nurse hands me a bunch of pamphlets as the doctor begins talking to me but my mind goes foggy and I don't hear any of it. After I pay and leave I wander my way back to the house and my room. I should be eating dinner but I'm not in the least bit hungry. Instead I go into the washroom and take a bath. A million thoughts run through my mind, among them the contemplation to tell Owen and Dallas but that thought rapidly fleets its way from my mind. I only see that going badly, very very badly. No I can never tell either of them, I don't need to tell anyone. I'll just stick to the original plan, hide the pregnancy and give up the baby. And then, for no reason other than my body is filled with emotion right now, I burst into tears. When I hear the door to the room open I get out of the bath, put on my bathrobe and go out to see Maya in the room with a smile on her face.

"Clare guess what?! Miles asked me to be his Girlfriend! I haven't even been in this city a day and I already have a boyfriend! Wait until I tell Owen when we video chat tomorrow! Which by the way you are joining us for." Maya tells me in nearly one breath.

"No I don't want to talk to Owen," I reply going to my bag and pulling out my pajamas.

"You're talking to Owen unless you can give me a good reason why you won't!" Maya asserts.

"Maya I just can't okay," I snap at her walking into the washroom to get dressed. I take off the robe putting it on the floor and then the door bursts open. "MAYA!" I shriek grabbing my robe from the floor to cover myself again, as I do the pregnancy test I earlier stashed in the pocket falls to the floor.

"Clare that is not a…is that a pregnancy test?" Maya gasps looking at the pink box on the pink and white tile floor.

The fear and the reality of it all sinks into me with such a heavy weight I sink to the floor clutching my robe to my chest and new tears come. Maya sits at my side and helps cover me with my robe then puts her hand on my arm.

"Clare are you pregnant?" She questions.

"You can't tell anyone Maya, please not a single soul." I plead with her wiping away my tears.

"Okay I won't but who's the father?"

**Update next Monday picking up from right here with more Maya pov and Owen's video chat plus another call from Adam**


	2. Her Dream, Her Nightmare

**Thanks to everyone who favorited, followed and/or reviewed last week.**

**Please see my profile page for responses to guest reviews and the updating schedule along with why I update the way I do.**

**Ch. 2 Her Dream, Her Nightmare**

**(MAYA)**

I was beyond shocked when I found out Clare was pregnant but when I asked her who the father was she became silent. She puts her head down on her knees and starts crying again. I rub her back softly and she slows her crying a little after a few minutes.

"Clare who's the father?" I ask her again.

She wipes her tears on her knees and looks at me laying her cheek on her hands. She bites her lip and pulls in a deep breath. "I don't know," she finally admits.

"You don't know?" How do you not know? Wait oh my god were you…were you raped?! Let's tell Owen he'll find the guy and kill him!" I tell her standing up to go call Owen but she catches my hand and pulls me back down.

"Maya I wasn't raped and you can't tell Owen, you can't tell anyone that I'm pregnant, not anyone." She asserts again as I sit next to her once more.

"I won't but how do you not know who the father is and when did you even have sex, you're still wearing your purity ring?" I question her again.

"Prom and grad night and I wear the ring to fool my mother, and everyone else because no one knows I had sex besides you and the two guys I slept with." She tells me.

"So who did you sleep with then? And I thought Owen said you got drunk at prom?" I question.

"I was Dallas took me home and we had sex, unprotected sex and while I was drunk. But I wasn't drunk at all at Fi's grad party; just upset and I had unprotected sex with Owen. I had unprotected sex two nights in a row with two different guys, both of them are my good friends and one of them is the baby's father I just don't know which one. I don't want to be pregnant Maya and I can't raise a baby, not now. They don't know I had sex with the other one and I don't ever want them to find out. I'm sure that neither of them wants to be a teen dad and I can't admit to them what I did, I don't want to screw up their friendship or my friendship with either of them. It was stupid, I was emotional and not thinking and no one else can ever find out." She insists in a determined austere tone.

"But Clare how are you going to go through a pregnancy alone? And in a few months you're going to get big and you think you can hide your pregnancy from everyone?" I inquire.

"I can get through the pregnancy alone, women do it all the time and I'll just wear baggy clothes and sweaters. I won't start showing until around November or December anyway." Clare answered very adamantly and stubbornly.

"Okay but what about Owen and Dallas? I mean they are your friends, two of your best friends now and you're just never going to tell either of them that they might have a child with you? Never give them the choice?" I question because I think it's wrong to not tell them.

"They don't want a baby, it was my mistake, it's my body, my choice and I can do this without them, without anyone. I don't want to be pregnant and I don't want a baby but I just don't think I can abort. It was my mistake I'll deal with it." She tells me in a determined tone.

"But Clare it was their mistake too, they should've used protection and they weren't drunk. They need to take responsibility for this too." I assert.

"No Maya just no, I don't want either of them to ever know. I don't want to ruin their friendship or my friendship with either of them." She affirms, before I can say anything else we hear the door open, it's probably Jenna but Clare stands up quickly wiping her tears away. "Don't tell anyone please Maya. I'm going to take a shower," she tells me picking the pregnancy test up from the floor and putting it back in the pocket of her robe.

"I won't tell anyone," I resign and leave Clare in the washroom closing the door behind me.

"Hey Maya," Jenna smiles at me as I hear Clare turn on the shower. "Did you guys explore the city? Connor and I had a great time we went to the Eiffel tower and the Moulin Rouge and walked along the Seine." Jenna tells me.

"We we did too, I mean Miles, Tris, Chewy and me did, Clare left us after lunch. You'll never guess what happened, Miles asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes." I gush to Jenna.

"Maya that's great he seems really sweet." Jenna smiles.

We talk for a little bit until Clare comes out of the shower in her bathrobe.

"You feeling okay Clare?" Jenna asks her.

"Yeah I'm just tired, jet lag I guess, I'm gonna go to bed." Clare tells us.

"Yeah good idea I'm going to get ready for bed myself, we have class in the morning." Jenna says grabbing her pajamas from her bag and her bag of toiletries.

"Give me the pregnancy test I'll toss it for you," I insist to Clare when Jenna is in the washroom.

She takes the test from her bathrobe pocket and hands it to me; I pull on a sweater and hide the test in it. Going downstairs I dump the test in a trashcan in the hall before running back to our room. When I get in Clare is already in her pajamas in her bed. Jenna comes out of the washroom and I go in to get ready for bed. Madam Jean-Aux comes to do a bed check just as I'm getting into bed. It takes me while to fall asleep because I was thinking about Clare's situation. I couldn't understand why she didn't want to be pregnant; if I was pregnant I would be thrilled. Especially if I was pregnant with a guy that I loved and really cared about, I already knew that I really liked Miles, as soon as I saw him my heart skipped a beat, when he touches me I get butterflies in my stomach. Having a baby seems like it would be a wonderful thing, my family is always too busy for me, between my mom's MS and Katie's high strung needs and the fact that my dad is always working or taking my mom to doctor's appointments and so my needs always get superseded. Katie's their favorite, she always has been and I always feel like a burden.

A baby, my baby will love me unconditionally, someone for me to care for and love completely. I know I probably sound insane right now but if you had grown up in my house, in a family where you were virtually ignored and basically left to fend on your own and made to feel like you were less important than everyone else than you would understand. It's not like I was going to screw Miles in the closet tomorrow to get myself pregnant or anything. But if it happens I know I'll be super happy and I would of course tell Miles, or whoever the father might be, right away. I know that Clare isn't dating Owen or Dallas but I still feel like they should know. When I finally do fall asleep I have a dream that Miles and I have a beautiful baby together. That Clare kept her baby and she's happy and both Owen and Dallas are with her. Okay so it was obviously a dream and she can't date or marry both of them and even if she doesn't abort the baby and goes through the whole pregnancy she wants to give it up but still I woke up smiling and confident that I had to talk to Clare and at least convince her that she had to at the very least talk to Owen and Dallas. Sitting up I noticed that Clare wasn't in her bed and I saw the washroom door closed. She came out a minute later wiping her mouth.

"You okay?" I whispered to her getting down from the top bunk.

"Yeah," she nods and Jenna wakes up.

"Morning anyone mind if I shower first?" Jenna yawns.

"No go ahead, we have an hour before class which is conveniently in this building, anyway I should start putting clothes away." I remark.

"Yeah none of us ever unpacked last night," Jenna smiles getting out of bed.

She grabs some clothes and goes into the washroom closing the door, a minute later we hear the shower come on as Clare and I begin unpacking our clothes in the closet and one of the dressers.

"Clare what about your Mom shouldn't you at least tell her?" I ask the older girl as she hangs some dresses in the closet.

"Are you kidding? If my mom finds out I'm pregnant she'll ship me off to some home for unwed mothers and then send me off to Nigeria or Sri Lanka for missionary work to repent for my sins." She tells me her voice taking on a sardonic, slightly bitter tone.

She does have a point, I've heard from Katie that her mom was a religious bitch and I have no idea what my parents would do if I got pregnant so young.

"Ok so we won't ever tell your mom but don't you think the potential dad's ought to know?" I question.

"No Maya we talked about this last night they don't need to know and they can't know. Can you really picture Owen or Dallas as a teen dad? Or being happy about having a baby? I told you why last night, they would hate me and possibly each other." She tells me in a somber tone.

"Okay fine," I sigh, I still think she's wrong but it's her choice to make and not mine. "But Owen and Dallas already think something's up, you can't just keep avoiding them." I point out.

"I know and I won't avoid them forever but I just confirmed that I was pregnant and I need time." She tells me.

"Okay but video chat with Owen tonight with me and Tris," I persist.

"Maya," she says in an annoyed tone.

"You don't have to tell him, I think you should but I'm not going to force you, just say hi and at least let him see you so he doesn't get suspicious," I encourage.

"Yeah okay," she gives in with a heavy sigh.

When Jenna gets out of the washroom Clare and I take turns getting ready and go down to grab some breakfast. Clare only picks at a croissant, Jenna gives her a worried look but no one else seems to notice. We sat with Miles, Chewy, Tris and Connor at breakfast and the seven of us sit together in class.

"Madam," Clare says suddenly half way through class, "can I…" Clare starts and Madam interrupts her.

"En français veuillez," Madam Jean-Aux says telling Clare to say it in French.

"Puis-je aller à la salle de bains?" Clare asks after a sigh.

Madam gives Clare permission to go to the washroom and she runs off, I have the feeling she ran off to throw up because she has morning sickness. Just before class ends Madam gives us our assignment for the day and tells us to go in groups. Jenna and Connor being all in love pair off together, Tris, Chewy, Miles and I group up again and I tell Clare she's coming with us. After we eat lunch at the house we leave walking down the street to get to the Champs-Elysees which is the main street in Paris.

"So now that we're dating I think I should know what your family is like." I tell Miles as we're browsing a perfume shop with the others as part of our assignment.

"Not much to tell, I'm an only child and my dad left us when I was three so I barely remember him. My mom is great though and she's going to love you when she meets you. I've known Chewy forever so he's the closest thing I have to a brother and his family is like my family. Don't worry they'll love you too and they'll love Tris, I know that they'll love Tris." Miles grins holding a perfume for me to sniff, it smells like apricots and roses.

"I'm going to wait outside I think the scents are making me nauseas," Clare tells us walking out.

"Where's Clare going?" Tris asks.

"All the smells were making her feel woozy she's going to wait outside." I answer and he gives Clare a worried look as she walks out the door.

"So what about your family?" Miles questions.

"Well Tristan's family is more family to me than my own really and I've only known him for a year. His parents are really great and they'll love both you and Chewy, even if Tris and Chewy never start officially dating. His older brother Owen might be a little leery of you both but he'll come around as soon as he sees how great you both are. Don't let him scare you, he looks mean but he's really not." I tell him.

"I'll remember that but what about your family?" He questions again.

"Well my dad works all the time and when he's not working he's just sort of…off like he's checked out. He's not abusive or anything he's just stressed out. See my mom has MS and it's progressed pretty rapidly. She takes a zillion meds like every hour and she has a doctor's appointment at least every other week. She's more or less confined to her wheelchair at this point cause her legs don't work anymore but she can use her forearm crutches to get around for short periods of time. Those are the kind that have the cuffs that go around your arms and the handles. Then there's my older sister Katie, besides consuming every free minute my parents had with her soccer camps, practices and games she was bulimic for a while and then got addicted to prescription drugs and had to go to rehab. She just went off to University at Stanford and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she has some melt down or crisis that requires all of my parent's attention." I kind of just ramble to Miles without really meaning to spill all of my family problems onto him.

He doesn't reply or tell him he's sorry with fake pity in his voice like most people, instead he puts his arms around me and gives me a soft kiss.

"You have all my attention," he says after the kiss.

I smile and blush as my stomach fills with butterflies; he takes my hand and interlaces our fingers as we leave the shop with Tris and Chewy, collect Clare as we continue down the street. The five of us spend all afternoon and evening together, I refuse to let Clare go off on her own again or flake out of our video chat with Owen tonight. After dinner we hang out in the boy's room at the house since we plan on video chatting from there so we can introduce Owen to Miles and Chewy. Tris and Chewy are still flirting but I think they'll be official any day now. When Tristan's laptop rings we all gather at the desk, Tris opens it and answers the call then Owen's face appears.

"Hey bro, Maya," Owen smiles.

"Hi Owen," we wave and I adjust the laptop so he can see Clare.

"Hey Clare," Owen says.

"Hi Owen," she says with a bright smile I'm certain she forced onto her lips.

"Haven't seen that smile in a while," he responds and she bites her lip.

"Yeah well I…" she pauses looking like she might throw up or start crying. "I told Jenna and Connor I'd play cards with them so I just wanted to say hi," she says standing up.

"Hold it I want to know what's going on with you and saying hi does not count as talking," Owen tells her.

"Next time, I promise but I gotta go meet Jenna bye Owen." She says quickly and runs out of the room.

We all watch her for a second and then I turn the attention back to us, or rather Chewy and Miles.

"So Owen this is Winston and Miles, they'll be going to DeGrassi with us next year and they're rooming with Tris." I introduce them.

"Yeah I figured they were going to DeGrassi, nice to meet you." Owen says nodding at them cautiously.

"Aside from rooming with Tris Miles is also my boyfriend as of yesterday." I inform him.

Owen arches one eyebrow as his face takes on a hard expression. "Excuse me?" He questions.

"We're dating as of yesterday; he's really nice and really good to me." I say quickly because Owen looks like he's about to yell.

"He is Owen; he's really good to her and super nice. He's way more of a gentleman than Cam or Zig and treats her better than both of them." Tris attests. "And Winston is also really sweet, he's super nice and we have so much in common." Tristan informs his older brother and now Owen gives Winston a hard look.

"Hold it are you two dating?" Owen questions.

"No uh not yet but we do like each other," Tristan tells him.

"Two days in Paris and you both have love interests already," Owen says eyeing Miles and Winston as he sizes them up from the other side of the computer screen.

"It is the city of love," I reply with a smile.

"I suppose next you're going to tell me that Clare met some French dude?" He inquires and the tone he uses is harsher and tinged with jealousy but given what I now know about him and Clare this makes sense.

"No Clare hasn't met anyone she's been keeping to herself mostly," I reply.

"Well good," Owen responds.

We talk to Owen for about an hour before I know I'm gonna get kicked out to my room. Owen spends most of that time grilling Winston and Miles about everything but it's all stuff Tris and I heard already.

"I'm gonna get kicked out of their room in a minute so we should say goodnight." I tell him.

"Yeah okay we'll talk again soon, Friday afternoon and make sure Clare actually stays this time." Owen tells us.

"We can do it right after class, that's 2pm for us and we'll bring Clare." Tris assures his brother.

"You better, night everyone. It was nice to meet you both just remember if either of you do anything to hurt Maya or my brother I will break you." Owen warns them.

"We'll be nothing but great to them you have my word." Miles assures him.

Owen smiles and hangs up, I turn and kiss Miles softly.

"You guys handled my brother pretty well," Tris compliments.

"I'd say very well," I add, "well I better get to room goodnight guys."

"Goodnight Maya," they all respond together.

I giggle and wave to them as I leave their room and walk to mine.

**(CLARE)**

After quickly ducking out of the boy's room and leaving them to talk to Owen I went back to my room. As soon as I was in my phone started ringing, it was Adam calling by video chat. I had no reason to avoid Adam so I answered with a smile on my face.

"Hey Adam," I greeted and it was quite comforting to see his smile.

"Hey, how's the city of lights?" Adam questions.

"Great, I saw a bunch of sights yesterday with Maya, Tris and these new boys Miles and Winston." I tell him.

"Cool what are the new kids like?" Adam inquires.

"They're very nice; they'll be in grade 10 with Maya and Tris. Actually Maya and Miles are already a couple. Tris and Winston have been flirting a lot; they'll be a couple soon I'm pretty sure." I tell him.

"Huh cool, wonder what Owen thinks about that?" Adam pondered.

"Not sure but they're all talking to him right now so I'm sure Maya will tell me when she comes back to our room." I remark.

"If they're all talking to Owen why aren't you there with them?" Adam asks arching his eyebrows.

"I uh…didn't have much to say," I mumble and Adam gives me a scolding look.

Before he can lecture I hear someone coming down the stairs, I realize that Adam's in the basement and I hope Drew is who just came down the stairs.

"Hey Dallas you wanna say hi to Clare?" Adam offers.

"Yeah," he says hopping over the back of the sofa and I bite my lip because I've only seen Dallas once since I even thought I might be pregnant. "Hey Edwards how's Paris?" Dallas asks.

"It's great, although the city is dirtier than I was expecting. Notre Dame Cathedral was interesting." I stumble over a response and they both cock their eyebrows at me.

"You've been talking about this trip for weeks and now you sound like you're not having a good time." Adam comments.

"Is everything okay? You've been acting kind of weird for a while now. You seemed fine after prom but…" Dallas starts and I shoot him a look so he covers his slip quickly. "I mean with Eli and all."

"You know this thing is freezing now, I'm losing signal I'll talk to you guys later. Bye Adam." I say and hang up.

I know I told Maya I wasn't going to avoid them but it's hard to look at them. I realize I'm going to have to get over that when I get back. I'm also going to have to be careful how physically close to them I get and I don't mean avoid having sex with them I mean our flirting often encompassed things like tickling. I'm not going to be able to let them feel that I'm getting a pregnant belly. Okay maybe this is going to be harder than I thought but I can still do it on my own. After turning off my phone so Adam couldn't call back I turned on my laptop to finish writing my report for class, I'd only be doing it a couple minutes before I got an IM from Dallas.

**Hounds -Captain: Everything okay?**

**Clare-e23: Yeah everything's fine the signal was cutting out that's all.**

**Hounds -Captain: So you're not avoiding me then?**

**Clare-e23: Don't be silly why would I be avoiding you?**

**Hounds -Captain: I don't know that's why I asked, did I do something?**

I had to pause before answering, he had done something, we had both done something and then I'd done the same something with Owen the next night.

**Clare-e23: No you didn't do anything the signal was cutting out and I was busy last week I told you that. Look I have to get this report finished for tomorrow's class so I need to go.**

**Hounds -Captain: Okay video chat then, tomorrow after your class?**

**Clare-e23: Okay.**

Dallas signs off and I heave a heavy sigh, I don't think I'll be ready to talk to him tomorrow. If I could avoid them both completely for the next eight weeks then I would. The problem is I'm almost as close with both of them now as I am with Adam. I want them to comfort me and tell me everything is going to be okay but the fact that they're both potential fathers of this child makes that impossible or at least improbable. I hate the fact that I want to run to Owen and Dallas and run from them at the same time. After quickly finishing my report I get ready for bed, just before I get in bed Maya comes back in the room.

"How was the rest of your chat with Owen?" I ask her as she goes into the washroom to get ready for bed.

"Good we told him Miles and I were dating and that Tris and Winston like each other." Maya tells me as I hear her getting ready for bed.

"Yeah and how'd he take it?" I ask from the closet as I change into pajamas.

"He wasn't too pleased at first but we told him they were good guys. He spent most of the time asking them a bunch of questions though but by the end of the call he seemed to be okay with it." She says as she starts brushing her teeth.

I smile and get in bed just as Jenna comes in, after bed check we talked for a while, or rather they talked for a while and I listened to them while I tried to not think about Owen or Dallas. My sleep that night is disturbed by a nightmare in which I'm a few months along in the pregnancy and I've been successfully hiding it but then I miscarry. I'm sitting in class and there's suddenly blood everywhere! I know I've lost the baby but I won't stop bleeding, suddenly I'm in the hospital and then I die, falling into the blood!

I sit up quickly panting, crying, shaking and in a cold sweat. I grab my phone and go into the washroom; it's just after one in the morning here so it's just after 7 in the evening back in Toronto. Without even thinking I call Owen, it's just instinct and it's not until I hear his voice that I realize what I did.

"Clare what's wrong?" Owen asks and I'm silent for a minute. "Clare it's the middle of the night there what happened? Are you okay? Did something happen to Tris or Maya?" Owen questions getting slightly more agitated when I don't answer right away.

I mentally slap myself so I can talk to him; I did call him after all I better say something. "Tris and Maya are fine, she's as sleep and I would assume he is too. Sorry to call you I just had a nightmare and I guess I needed to talk to someone. I didn't meant to bother you, go back to sleep an…" I'm rambling an apology when Owen cuts me off.

"Clare have I ever gotten mad at you for calling me before, at any hour?" He asks.

"No," I reply, he never has since we've been friends anyway but I didn't have his number before then.

"Then shut up and stop apologizing, besides it's like 7:30 here I wasn't sleeping." He reminds me.

"Right of course," I reply.

"So what was this nightmare about?" Owen asks.

"I uh…" I pause biting my lip because I don't know what to tell him. "I was at school and…" my sentence trails off and I don't know how to continue. "You know I don't remember anymore, I just woke up so scared."

"Yeah well schools always been a nightmare for me," Owen responds and I can hear the smirk on his lips as he says it.

"Owen," I laugh.

"You feel better? Cause I'll talk to you all night, you know I can. Tell you all about hockey and football and…" he's telling me when I cut him off this time.

"No that's okay I think I can get to sleep now, thanks Owen." I tell him.

"Yeah no problem so you going to video chat with me on Friday with the others?" He questions.

"Uh yeah I'll try," I reply nervously.

I hate this, two minutes ago I was feeling great, Owen was calming me down and the fact that I might be pregnant with his baby wasn't getting in the way of our friendship for two seconds and now I can't get away from him fast enough.

"Yeah, go to bed, get back to sleep." Owen replies, he sounds a little hurt and I feel bad.

"I am goodnight Owen and thanks." I tell him.

"Yeah goodnight Clare and you can call me back any time you know that right? You can talk to me about anything." He says.

"Yeah I know," I respond and hang up.

"_Anything but the fact that I'm pregnant and the baby could be yours or it could be Dallas'." _I think to myself as I get back in bed.

I manage to sleep the rest of the night with no further nightmares and I don't tell Maya or anyone else about the nightmare. It does remain on my mind for the morning though and kills my appetite at breakfast. I'm barely paying attention in class, thankfully I'm sitting with Maya and Miles and he speaks fluent French.

"Come on you can come with us to get food," Maya says when class is over.

"I'm not hungry," I shake my head.

"No for the assignment we're supposed to buy 4 examples of real French food and tonight we get to eat what everyone bought." Maya clarifies.

"Oh, I wasn't paying much attention; I didn't sleep much last night." I tell them as Maya, Miles and I start walking to mine and Maya's room.

"Yeah could that be because of a certain midnight phone call with Owen?" Maya teases.

"We barely talked, I had a bad dream and I called him out of instinct. I'm going to change in the washroom can you check my laptop and see if I got an e-mail from Alli please?" I request as we go into the room.

"Yeah no problem," Maya says walking to my bed where my laptop is while she holds hands with Miles. I see her open the lid just as I go into the closet to get out a dress which is going to be more comfortable than the shorts I'm wearing. "No e-mail from Alli," she says.

"Thanks," I reply walking out to the room again and across to the washroom as Maya and Miles start making out on my bed.

I just smile as I go into the washroom closing the door to change. When I get out I hear the laptop telling me I have an incoming video call. Maya and Miles are sort of rolling around on my bed and one of them manages to accept the call. Dallas' face appears on the screen and I duck back into the washroom again.

"Uh hum?!" Dallas clears his throat in an angry stern way as he's greeted by the sight of two horny teenagers.

I peek out of the washroom just enough to see Maya and Miles jump apart and look at the laptop.

"Ummm hi Dallas, this is Miles my boyfriend we were just…" Maya is explaining when Dallas cuts her off.

"Yeah I know what you were just, where's Clare?" Dallas asks.

They both look back at me and I shake my head vigorously so they know I don't want to talk to him. Maya gives me a scolding look but sighs and turns back to the laptop.

"She just ran out, she was going somewhere with Jenna and Connor I think but I'll tell her you called." Maya says.

"Yeah thanks, you two go out and do something too, that doesn't involve a bed. Owen meet him yet?" Dallas asks Maya and I smile.

"Yeah he did," Maya replies.

"Owen threaten him if he does anything bad?" Dallas asks and I smile again.

"Yeah him and Winston," Maya says.

"Who's Winston?" Dallas inquires.

"My best friend, he likes Tris and Tris likes him." Miles Clarifies.

"You guys have been busy in Paris; tell Clare I'll call her again tonight and you two go hose off." Dallas orders.

"Yeah I'll tell her bye Dallas," Maya says and closes my laptop.

"Thanks Maya," I smile coming out of the washroom.

"Great we get lectured and you dodge him again! I thought you were going to stop avoiding the two of them?" Maya scolds as we leave the room.

"I am, by the time we get back to Toronto I won't need to avoid them anymore. I think," I add quickly.

"Clare!" Maya admonishes.

"So why are you avoiding Owen and Dallas I thought they were your friends?" Miles inquires.

"It's complicated," Maya tells him.

"You know I can go shopping for food on my own and you two can…" I try but Miles cuts me off and links arms with me and Maya.

"Not a chance I have been threatened by both the guys you are currently avoiding for some complicated reason and I have a feeling if anything happened to you on my watch they would both fly out here and kill me. So you're sticking with us Clare, I know this city well and nothing will happen to either of you on my watch." Miles assures us both.

Maya and I exchange a smile behind Miles' head, that just earned himself points with us and I'm sure with Dallas and Owen as well.

"They would definitely fly out here to kill you, but you are very sweet to take care of us," Maya smiles kissing his cheek.

"Speaking of sweet I know where they have the best French truffles, guaranteed to be a big hit at the dinner tonight." Miles informs us.

We follow him out and catch a bus to the east bank, Maya and Miles talk the whole way and I get lost in my thoughts. I can't avoid Owen and Dallas forever but I can't tell them so what am I supposed to do?

**Update next Monday including someone else finding out Clare is pregnant and a romantic night for Maya and Miles.**


	3. I Won't Tell

**Ch. 3 I Won't Tell**

**(MAYA)**

"You sure you don't want to stay out with us?" I ask Clare when we get back to the house to drop off the food we bought.

"I'm sure, you guys go have fun," she smiles.

"Okay but talk to Dallas tonight when he calls," I encourage her.

"I'll talk to him but I'm not telling him now go have fun with Miles," she says playfully shoving me out of the room to go meet Miles.

I smile at her and leave the room meeting Miles on the front steps, he puts his arm around me and we start walking down the street.

"So where would you like to go first?" Miles questions.

"I don't know you've been here before you tell me." I reply.

"Why don't we catch a taxi to Montmartre, it's a suburb just north of here on a hill you can see the whole city from there." Miles suggests.

"Sounds perfect," I smile taking his hand and interlacing our fingers.

Miles hails a cab and we get in, he tells the driver in perfect French where to go. The drive takes about twenty minutes and it's beautiful, the buildings are from the turn of the century it feels like I've gone back in time. The cab drops us off and Miles pays, the main street is lined with artists showing their talents. We stroll through the shops and cafés holding hands. He buys me a flower from a stand and we stop for coffee. We stop for dinner at the cutest little French restaurant and he orders for us.

"You ever think about the family you want to have?" I ask Miles as we eat and he looks at me a little shocked. "Maybe it's a girl thing, thinking about our wedding and our future family." I tell him.

"I don't know, I don't think guys think that far into the future. I don't want a huge family but two or three kids I guess. A boy first and then maybe a girl, two or three years apart at least so they aren't too close together or too far apart." He tells me and I smile.

When we leave dinner it's dark and the streets are lit up, you can see all the lights from Paris and it is breathtakingly beautiful. We walk to a little park sitting on a bench and looking down at Paris, from here it definitely looks like the city of lights. I put my head on his shoulder watching the lights for a few minutes and the city below. Picking my head up and locking my eyes with his I catch his lips with mine. His tongue probes my bottom lip and I part my lips for him. His tongue goes in as my free hand rests at the back of his neck while his free hand rests on my hip. We just keep kissing, breathing in the others breath and our lips refusing to pull apart. It's actually the barking of a dog that pulls us apart and he looks at his phone.

"We better get going or we're going to be late for curfew," he says slowly.

"Yeah I guess so," I nod but the last thing I want to do is go back.

We walk back to the main street and he hails a cab taking us back to the house. The cab drops us off and we walk to the hallway that divides the girls side from the guys side. He cups my face and gives me a tender goodnight kiss.

"Get some sleep Maya," he almost whispers and we part ways.

When I get back to my room Clare is just coming out of the washroom wiping her mouth and Jenna isn't back in the room yet.

"You okay?" I ask her as she gets in her bed; she's already in her pajamas.

"Yeah just throwing up again, I looked it up morning sickness can come at any time of day it's just more common in the morning. Jenna should be back any minute she's in Connor's room." Clare tells me.

"How long have you been throwing up?" I ask her.

"On and off for about four hours, I think I've officially vomited up everything I ate today. The website said the baby will take the nutrients it needs from my body." She tells me.

"You look kind of pale," I comment looking her over closely.

"It's probably all the vomiting, I'm okay," she insists.

"Did you talk to Dallas tonight?" I question.

"Yeah for about ten minutes then I backed out, don't give me that look it's progress." She retorts when I narrow my eyes at her.

"Yeah I guess but you're talking to Owen tomorrow afternoon too." I assert.

"Fine, I'm tired though I'm going to sleep night," she says.

"Goodnight, try and actually get some sleep tonight," I reply.

She nods and yawns curling under the covers, Jenna comes in just as I go into the washroom to get ready for bed. Once I'm ready for bed Jenna goes into the washroom and I grab my laptop climbing up to the top bunk. Jenna says goodnight but gets her laptop too, we hide our laptops when Madam comes to do a bed check and then get them out again. I have no idea what Jenna was doing on her laptop but I was researching teen pregnancies. Clare is right about morning sickness coming at any time and that the baby will take whatever it needs from her body. What she didn't say or doesn't know is that the baby does this at the expense of the mother sometimes and it can lead to very serious complications. It also says stress is bad for mom and baby and I think Clare is giving herself way more stress than she needs right now.

Around one in the morning, as I hear Clare thrashing in her bed, I put my laptop down and go to sleep. I have a lovely dream where I'm married to Miles and we have three children, a boy and two girls. I sleep very well and wake up very happy, Clare on the other hand looks even more pallid this morning and doesn't look like she slept very well.

"Morning," Jenna yawns from the bottom bunk.

"Morning, I'm gonna use the washroom first." Clare says getting out of bed quickly and I hear the shower come on a minute later which I'm guessing is her way of hiding the fact that she's vomiting.

She stays in long enough to get ready and actually wets her hair so either she showered or she did very well at covering her morning sickness. After Clare is ready I get ready and when Jenna goes into the washroom I grab Clare and pull her out to the balcony so we can talk without Jenna hearing.

"Clare you need to tell Owen and Dallas," I insist.

"Maya no we've discussed this! They can never know, they'll hate each other and resent me even if I don't keep the baby. You only found out because you saw the test." She argues.

"Yes but stress is bad for you and the baby, don't you think not telling them is more stressful than telling them?" I prod.

"How does having them hate me and possibly each other make it less stressful?! I'm going down to breakfast," she says giving up on the conversation and walking into the room again.

"Are you actually going to eat this morning?" I question following her.

"I'll have a croissant to settle my stomach," she tells me.

I call to Jenna that we're going down to breakfast and she calls back that she'll be down in a minute. Tris and the boys are already at breakfast, I sit next to Miles and Clare sits on the end by Connor, one chair away so Jenna can sit between them. She picks at a croissant and eats about half of it before excusing herself to our room quietly. Not many other people notice, Tris does, Miles does and so do I. I finish quickly and leave the table, Tris follows me, when we get to our room I can hear Clare throwing up again. I hear her flushing the toilet and the sink running but she doesn't come out of the washroom so I knock on the door.

"Clare it's just me and Tris are you okay?" I ask her.

"It's open," she replies but she doesn't sound okay.

I open the door and we see her sitting on the floor against the wall, she looks up at us, her eyes look sallow and she looks pale.

"You look pale," Tris comments as we step into the washroom.

"I'm okay," Clare replies but her voice cracks and is weak; she doesn't sound okay at all

"You were throwing up," Tris points out.

"And I'm fine," she insists standing up.

She pushes past us to walking into the room then stops, grabs one of the dressers and nearly collapses to the floor except that Tris and I catch her!

"You are not okay, you're very pale. Stay in bed we'll tell Madam Jean-Aux that something you ate last night at dinner didn't agree with you." I assert as Tris and I help her to the bed.

"You mean the class dinner you and Miles skipped out on? All the food we got went first by the way." She tells me curling on her side and kicking off her shoes.

"Yes that dinner," I nod pulling the blanket over her.

"Maybe she needs to see a doctor," Tris suggests looking at Clare with a very worried look.

She's our friend too but Owen did give us strict instructions to watch her and Tris knows how important she is to his brother. I get up closing the door deciding that at least one Milligan brother needs to know now and Clare's too weak to kill me at this moment.

"She's already been to the doctor, she's pregnant Tris." I inform him in a low voice.

"MAYA!" Clare admonishes.

"WHAT?!" He exclaims vehemently, Clare and I both shush him and he lowers his voice. "But who…" he starts and Clare cuts him off.

"I don't know," she tells him.

"Well what do you remember? Tell Owen what you remember and he'll figure it out and kill the guy." Tris persists.

"I remember everything Tris I just don't know who the father is. I had sex with Dallas on prom night and then I had sex the next night at Fi's grad party with Owen. I was drunk when I slept with Dallas but not when I slept with Owen. But we didn't use protection either time, I can't tell them, I just can't they'll hate me, resent me and this baby and possibly hate each other. I can do this on my own and you can't tell anyone either Tris." Clare insists.

"Yeah but Clare you have to tell them, they're going to notice when you suddenly have a baby." Tris argues.

"No they won't I'm not keeping the baby, at least I don't think so, I haven't entirely decided yet. I can do this on my own and I don't want Owen or Dallas to ever know. Maya explain it to him since you blurted it out." She says in an annoyed voice.

"He might be an uncle I think he has the right to know; besides you can't do this alone. Try and get some rest okay. Come on Tris I'll explain it to you," I say pulling him up by the sleeve. We leave the room and go out to the hall but it isn't safe to talk here so I pull him into a closet for cleaning supplies. "She's afraid they're going to hate her that they don't want a baby and she doesn't think she's keeping it. She's afraid of losing their friendship and she thinks she can do this alone. She plans to hide the pregnancy and give up the baby but I did some research last night, morning sickness can come at any time of day and she's been sick a lot. The baby will take whatever it needs from her body but at the expense of Clare if it has to. It can also lead to some serious complications and stress is bad for her and the baby and I think she's stressing herself out more than she needs to by not telling Owen and Dallas." I explain to Tris.

"Clare has to tell them, my brother has done some terrible things before but he won't run out on his responsibility and even if the baby isn't his he would never abandon Clare. I don't know about Dallas but somehow I don't think he'd abandon her either. And she's crazy if she thinks she can hide the pregnancy and get through it alone." Tris says with a worried but assertive voice.

"Yeah I know that and you know that but we need to convince her of that. If she doesn't come around in the next couple of days I say we just tell Owen ourselves. He needs to know and she needs the support. But we shouldn't tell anyone else here, Jenna was pregnant before so she might figure it out but we don't really know the other kids besides Connor, Miles and Winston and I think we should keep it from them too, at least for now." I tell Tris.

"Agreed come on we better get to class," Tris says taking my hand and pulling me out to the hall.

"There you are we were about to come looking for you two." Miles says putting his arm around me when Tris and I enter the classroom.

"Sorry Clare isn't feeling well I need to tell Madam she's resting." I reply and Miles comes with me while Tris sits down with Winston. "Madam Clare isn't feeling well, something she ate at the dinner last night isn't agreeing with her and she threw up this morning so she's resting in bed."

"I hope she's alright, thank you for telling me Maya, speaking of the dinner last night you two skipped out on it if you want to make it up I will need a thousand word essay on the local foods of Paris on my desk by six and no more skipping class assignments." Madam Jean-Aux tells us in a scolding voice.

"Yes Madam," we say together.

"Well it could have been worse," Miles says as we walk back to our table with Tris, Winston, Jenna and Connor.

"It was worth it," I grin as Madam starts teaching.

**(CLARE)**

"Connor and I are off, we have a whole list of places to go, feel better see you tonight." Jenna says as she rushes out the door and nearly colliding with Tris and Maya as they come in.

"Feeling better?" Tris asks as Maya grabs my laptop from the desk and they each sit on either side of my bed.

"Yes no more throwing up and I even ate a little," I tell them.

"Good cause Owen's about to call to video chat and you're going to stay the whole time to talk to him and you're going to tell him." Maya insists firmly and I make an annoyed growl.

"I'm not telling him! How many times do I have to go over this?" I question.

"He needs to know Clare; he's not going to run out on his responsibility." Tris asserts.

"There's a fifty percent chance that it isn't even his responsibility Tris and can you really see your brother as a dad at this age? He'll be starting University in the fall, he's going to meet a ton of girls and I don't want him to resent me or the baby even if I do give it up." I state as the video chat program starts ringing and I look at the two of them. "Not another word about it from either of you." I assert in a firm tone.

They exchange some look behind my back as I hit the accept button.

"Hey I got all three of you finally, you actually going to talk this time or you going to run off again?" Owen asks when his face appears on the screen.

"Oh she's going to talk," Tris tells him.

"I heard you talked to Dallas last night," Owen remarks.

"Yeah for a bit," I reply nervously.

I hate this feeling of wanting to run from him and wanting to run to him so he can hold me and tell me it will all be fine. I look in his deep blue eyes and I melt, I did it with Dallas last night too. It's just one of my problems with this whole thing, I like them both and I like them both equally.

"Yeah he said that too," Owen remarks giving me a scolding look. I bite my lip; Owen sighs and changes the subject. "So you and Chewy a couple yet?" He asks his brother.

"He doesn't like to be called Chewy he prefers Winston but no we're still…feeling each other out I guess." Tris replies looking a little down.

"It'll happen bro and you better tell me when it does I know I grilled them last time we talked but it better be clear to Winston and Miles that they treat you two good." Owen says firmly.

"It was," Maya says rolling her eyes.

"They're both very nice; Miles looked out for both us yesterday when we went to get food for our class assignment." I tell him.

"It's true he wouldn't let Clare go off by herself because he knew that you and Dallas would kill him if anything happened to either one of us on his watch." Maya informs him.

"Damn right we will," Owen replies. "And you and Miles, he being good to you?" Owen asks Maya.

"Yes very good, he took me to this little village yesterday it was very romantic." Maya gushes.

"Yeah and they missed the class dinner last night." Tris teases.

We talk to Owen for another hour until Maya says she has school work and Owen says he's off to hang out with Luke and Dallas. We make plans to talk again on Sunday after dinner. I stayed the whole time but I barely said anything unless Owen asked me a direct question.

"I have to write an essay for missing the dinner last night but you're supposed to visit the Orsay Museum and make an oral report on it tomorrow at class." Maya tells me as Tris puts my laptop back.

"Then I guess I'm going to the Orsay," I comment getting up.

"Not by yourself me and Winston got the Orsay too but Maya and Miles were given the Rodin museum. Anyway we're going with you," Tris tells me.

"I can go to an art museum by myself the bus goes right to it." I argue as I get my shoes back on and check my hair in the mirror.

"You almost passed out this morning I'm not taking the chance." Tris tells me and I sigh.

"See you later Maya," I wave to her as Tris takes me out of the room by my hand and I have just enough time to grab my purse.

"Later guys," she calls after us.

"Hey Clare feeling better?" Miles asks when we get to the boys room.

"Yes thank you," I smile.

"We'll get her some tea if she starts feeling ill again," Winston says as we wave to Miles and leave the room.

The three of us catch the bus outside the house and take it to the Musee D'Orsay. We pay the student price to get in, Tris and Winston walk ahead of me and I linger behind so they can be alone well sort of. I sit on the first bench to view the first painting and let them get farther ahead of me. It's a painting by Toulouse-Lautrec and I'm sort of spacing out on it while waiting for Tris and Winston to get ahead, someone sits next to me but I don't pay attention until he speaks.

"Lovely isn't it?" He says in a French accent and I look over to see a young man, about 19 or so, with deep brown hair and blue eyes. "He painted at the Moulin Rouge you know, it isn't far from here I can take you." He offers.

The offer is tempting, a summer fling almost sounds fun; get my mind off of things so I stop thinking about Dallas and Owen and the baby. Before I can answer Tristan does it for me.

"Not with you she isn't, she's taken now get lost." Tris says in a firm voice and takes my arm to pull me up.

"Where's Winston you should be with him?" I question.

"He's right there," Tris says pointing, "we didn't want you to get lost."

"I didn't want to be the third wheel and I'm not taken," I argue with Tris.

"You are taken by my brother or by Dallas and you need to tell them." He asserts.

"Tristan!" I exclaim in an admonishing tone.

We get near Winston and Tris goes quiet, we walk through the museum getting enough for our reports then we return to the house.

"I'm gonna walk Clare to her room be up in a minute," Tris says to Winston and he nods. "Clare Owen should know, he's your friend he's not going to abandon you and I doubt that Adam, Drew or Bianca would let Dallas abandon you either. You can't go through this alone even if you do give up the baby." Tris implores.

"Tris I'm not talking about this again, they can't know, no one else can know. I'll be more stressed out if they do know. Go be with Winston we're in the house, no boys are going to hit on me I'm safe here." I tell him.

"But Clare…" Tris tries and I cut him off.

"Tris I know he's your brother but we're not telling him, and we're not telling Dallas, I'm not telling anyone else besides you and Maya. If two want to help then fine but we're not telling anyone else." I assert in a hard voice.

"You can't hide the pregnancy, not from them. What if you go into labor while you're with them? What if something happens when you're with them? What if there's complications?" Tris asks.

"I don't know Tristan I'll figure something out now go be with Winston will you?" I request.

He scrunches his face at me, sighs and then walks out. As different as they are he's like his brother in a lot of ways. When Tris is gone I leave my room, I've been in Paris four days now and barely seen anything. Also I need some fresh air and a distraction. I walk across the bridge to the other bank and begin wandering; I don't stray too far from the house, finding a bench near the Seine and sit down. Tris and Maya are probably right but I'm not telling them, I can't. In my head every time I think about telling them it turns out badly. I just can't picture it going well with either of them. They don't want to be saddled with a baby if I do decide to keep it or a pregnant girl either way. Of course if by chance I do decide to keep the baby I'll have some explaining to do. I'm six weeks along today since you start counting from the day of your last period. I guess if necessary I could tell them it was some random guy in Paris or just before we left at some party and I don't remember the guy. No it doesn't matter I'm not keeping the baby, I can't, I couldn't raise a baby on my own, not in my senior year of high school and my mom will kill me if she ever finds out. I mean she may very well literally end my life and claim justifiable homicide because I shamed the family or she'll ship me off somewhere and never speak of me again. I want to talk to someone but I can't very well call Dallas or Owen so I call Adam.

"Hey Clare how's Paris?" Adam asks.

"Hi Clare!" I hear Becky's cheery voice call from the background.

"Hi Adam, I didn't mean to interrupt your time with Becky I can call back later." I tell him.

"No it's fine we're just watching movies, I just got off from working the DeGrassi summer camp. So what's up?" He questions.

"Nothing I just wanted to…nothing," I respond stumbling over an answer.

"Clare what's up? Dallas said you only talked to him for a few minutes yesterday and Owen said you barely said anything when he video chatted with you guys today. I know something's up so when are you going to spill?" Adam questions.

"It's nothing for you to worry about Adam just…family stuff." I tell him because I can't think of anything else.

"Your mom on your case again?" He asks.

"No, I mean not yet, I should go I've got a whole city of sights to see." I tell him.

"Yeah okay hey be careful even places like Paris aren't good to tourists. Don't go exploring on your own too much." Adam says.

"I'll be fine Adam, have fun with Becky tell her bye for me. Bye Adam," I say and hang up.

I get up leaning on the railing and looking at the river for a very long time before I go off and explore some more. When I get back to the house Tris and Winston scold me for going off on my own. Tris spends the rest of the afternoon, when we're alone, trying to convince me to tell Owen and Dallas and I keep telling him no. Maya and Miles don't return until just before bed check and given the fact that she has smeared lipstick I'm betting they spent most of their time together making out. Maya picks up where Tris left off in trying to convince me that the best thing is for me to tell Owen and Dallas. They can argue all they like I'm still certain that the best thing is not to tell them, ever! I spend all day Saturday being dragged around as a fifth wheel by Maya, Miles, Tris and Winston. I tried to get out of it but they wouldn't let me, they even threatened to call Owen and tell him I was trying to explore on my own! They also kept insisting I wasn't a fifth wheel but with the four of them coupled off I sure feel like a fifth wheel. I did however get through most of the day without being sick or feeling dizzy. At least on Sunday they go off without me but not before insisting that I don't explore on my own. I don't listen of course; I wander by myself visiting the Moulin Rouge, the opera house and at least a dozen little shops along the way. Maya called as I was sitting at a café to have some tea and I knew she was calling because I should be there to talk to Owen.

"Where are you?" Maya asks.

"Having tea at a café," I reply.

"You know Owen's calling in five minutes," she scolds.

"Sorry I lost track of time tell Owen I said hi," I respond and hear her sigh.

"Clare!" She admonishes.

"I lost track of time, have a good chat with Owen and tell him I said hi." I reiterate.

"Fine but you should be heading back to the house have you eaten anything?" She asks.

"A little, I'll head back as soon as I have my tea, see you guys in a bit." I tell her and hang up as the waitress brings my tea.

**(OWEN)**

I was watching TV but turned it off when it was time to video chat with the Paris kids. My brother texted a short time ago and told me to call Maya this time so I turned on my laptop logged in and clicked on Maya's name.

"Hey guys," I greet my brother and Maya noticing one girl with light brown curls and bright blue eyes is missing.

"Hi Owen," Tris and Maya say in unison.

"Where's Clare?" I question.

"She went exploring and lost track of time, she'll be back soon." Maya says.

"Yeah sure, how are you guys?" I question.

"We're good; me and Winston became official today." Tris tells me.

"Congrats bro that's great, do I need to remind him to be good to you?" I ask.

"No he knows," Tris says rolling his eyes.

"It was really cute we went to this cute little Italian restaurant and Tris asked Chewy over dessert." Maya tells me.

"Can't wait to meet him and Miles in person when you guys get back so I can threaten them properly," I say.

"OWEN!" They scold together.

"So since she skipped out on talking to me again how's Clare?" I ask them.

"She's good; she got hit on by some guy at the museum on Friday he wanted to take her to the Moulin Rouge. I told him to get lost." Tris informs me.

"Good! Keep it up." I tell them and they give me a look that makes me think I need to defend what I just said. "She's my friend and I don't want some random French dude hitting on her. I don't trust those French guys," I contend. They remain silent and exchange a suspicious look. "What?" I question and they exchange a look again. "One of you tell me what the hell is going on?!" I demand.

"We have to tell you something, Clare will probably kill us for telling you but you have to know." Maya says nervously.

"Tell me what?" I ask getting anxious and worried.

"Clare's pregnant," Tris finally tells me and my heart stops.

I stare at them, my eyes wide as that night Clare and I made love flashes into my mind, a night we never spoke of after it happened. I feel like I can't breathe and my heart is pounding, my brother and Maya are staring at me waiting for me to say something but I'm shocked beyond the ability to speak just now.

**Update next Monday picking up from right here in Owen's pov**


	4. My Junk is You

**Ch. 4 My Junk Is You**

**(OWEN)**

Tris and Maya drop the bomb on me that Clare is pregnant and my heart stops! It takes a minute for it to sink in, I let out a deep breath, my heart begins to pound and I maybe go a little nuts.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN SHE'S PREGNANT?! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?! HOW DID YOU GUYS FIND OUT BEFORE I DID?! WHY THE FUCK DID SHE TELL YOU BEFORE SHE TOLD ME?!" I scream at my little brother and his best friend somewhat unintentionally but I was very shocked and panicking.

"Owen hush!" Maya scolds me.

"I turned down the laptop volume. She didn't want anyone to know Owen, we kind of found out by accident." Tris informs me.

"I saw the pregnancy test and Tris was worried after she had morning sickness and got dizzy." Maya says.

"She was dizzy is she okay? Should she even be there? Was it safe for her to fly to Paris? What about the trip home? Why did she get dizzy? Why didn't she tell me?" I question rapidly, have I mentioned that I'm freaking out a little bit and then a thought occurs to me. "Is she ashamed that she slept with me?" I question.

"Probably but that's not the only problem," Maya quips and I glare at her.

"You might not be the father," Tris informs me and my heart stops again before it begins to pound out of my chest.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I MIGHT NOT BE THE FATHER?! WHEN THE HELL DID SHE SLEEP WITH SOME OTHER GUY?!" I holler again.

"Dallas, she slept with Dallas on prom night. Protection wasn't used either time and she's freaking out ab…" Maya starts to tell me.

"WITH DALLAS ON PROM NIGHT?! SHE WAS DRUNK ON PROM NIGHT!" I growl and take a deep breath. "I have to go I need to call Clare." I say quickly, close the video chat program and then my laptop.

I grab my phone from my dresser and call Clare as I start pacing my bedroom. Her phone goes to voicemail so she's still avoiding me, I'm ready to yell but I stop myself after a deep breath. I can't bring myself to leave a message though just hang up the phone and slip it in my pocket. Grab my keys and wallet then leave my house, it's Sunday afternoon so it's a safe bet Dallas is still at the Torres house probably playing video games with the brothers. I drive over the speed limit and make the six mile drive to their house in just under three minutes. I don't even lock my car when I get out just storm up to the basement door and throw it open. The three of them are playing video games and look over at me when I come in.

"Hey Owen," Drew says a little confused probably as to why I'm so pissed, well he's about to find out.

I don't say anything at all just walk up to Dallas who's sitting on the end next to Adam, pull back my fist and punch Dallas with a hard right hook the eye! Dallas goes back slumping into the sofa, Adam lurches away like I hit him and Drew jumps up grabbing my fist before I can punch Dallas again.

"Dude what the hell?!" Drew asks but I ignore him.

"HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU SLEEP WITH HER?! SHE WAS DRUNK THAT NIGHT AND YOU STILL SLEPT WITH HER?!" I holler at Dallas.

"Dude slept with who?" Drew questions again but he's still holding my fist.

"Clare?!" Adam exclaims catching on and now Dallas' eyes go wide. "Dallas you had sex with Clare on prom night?!"

"Fuck!" Drew breathes.

"It just happened and how the hell do you know we haven't told anyone?!" Dallas asks.

"We had sex at Fi's party and now she's pregnant and either one of us could be the dad. I found out from Maya and Tris and they found out from Clare and that's why she's avoiding us!" I tell him angrily but ashamed of myself just as much as I'm angry at him.

Dallas' face goes from anger to shock to shame in about three seconds.

"Hold it you both had sex with Clare, neither of you used protection and none of you said anything and now she's pregnant! One of you got my best friend pregnant?!" Adam states trying to wrap his head around the whole situation, to tell you the truth I'm still trying to wrap my head around it too.

Drew gives us both an angry look and then smacks me and Dallas upside the head as hard as he can.

"Ow!" Dallas and I say together rubbing the side of our head where we got hit.

"That's for having sex with Clare," he tells us and then hits us again even harder. "That's for being too stupid to use protection!" He says and then hits Dallas again. "And that's for doing it while she was drunk and not thinking straight."

"At least she wasn't drunk when I slept with her," I snarl at Dallas.

He stands up clenching his fists and staring me down. "I didn't rape her, I didn't pressure her, she had the lead I never did anything she didn't want to do." Dallas growls back at me.

"She was still drunk; she wasn't thinking straight you should have stopped her!" I shoot back leaning in ready to punch him again.

"Yeah and what's your excuse? She might not have been drunk but she was upset at that party?!" Dallas snarls back at me.

"KNOCK IT OFF BOTH OF YOU!" Adam yells loudly for him and we all look at the boy. "You all made mistakes but the reality is Clare is pregnant and scared and since she hasn't told anyone she's trying to get through it by herself. I don't care who the father is right now both of you need to be there for Clare." Adam commands in the strongest harshest tone I have ever heard him use.

"She won't talk to us and she's not even sure she's going to keep the baby after it's born." I inform them.

"I don't care, if she gives the baby up she's going to need you because it's going to be hard and if she decides to keep it she's going to need you, both of you. Keep calling her until she talks to you, be there for her or we'll kill you both." Adam says.

I sink down on the coffee table because I know Adam's right, I'm angry at Dallas but I'm just as angry at myself.

"You two better stand by her throughout this whole thing because she's going to need you but you both also have a lot of explaining to do." Drew tells us as Dallas sinks back down to the sofa.

"Even if she gives up the baby going through the pregnancy is going to be hard on her especially as she gets closer to the due date." Adam says he pauses for a breath and I speak up before he can say anything else.

"Maya and Tris told me she got dizzy," I tell them.

"That's my point; she can't get through this alone no matter what she thinks. If she does give up the baby it's going to be a hard decision and she's going to need you both to be there for her after. You two have to support her no matter what choice she makes. And if she decides she's going to keep the baby is whoever the father is going to step up and take responsibility?" Adam asks.

"Yes," Dallas and I say together.

"That means helping Clare with the baby, supporting her financially, emotionally and whatever else she needs. That might mean no more partying; it could kill your senior year and your freshman year at TU. Can you do it? Cause if you can't tell me now." Adam says and he Drew look between us.

"I'll support her no matter what; father or not I won't turn my back on Clare no matter what she decides." I state firmly.

"Me either, no matter what she decides I'll be there for her, through the pregnancy and after whether or not I'm the dad." Dallas says.

"Good cause she's gonna need all of us, I know her family won't be there for her. That means you both have to be there for her even together sometimes without killing each other." Adam reminds us.

"We can do it," I say and Dallas nods.

"Okay now that that's settled you two explain yourselves, why the fuck would you sleep with Clare?! And don't say because she's hot!" Drew demands and we all look at Dallas since he slept with her first.

"Well I mean you saw her on prom night, she was so upset and then she got drunk. I brought her here since I knew she couldn't go home like that. I was going to put her to sleep in my bed and sleep on the sofa I swear but she was still upset over Eli so I was holding her and then we kissed. Then she's making out with me and the sex just sort of happened." Dallas explains nervously and then they look at me.

"It happened pretty much the same for me only she wasn't drunk. Eli was being an ass at that party and she started to run out. I stopped her and took her into your old room," I say looking at Drew, "she was upset and we kissed and the kissing became making out, the making out became sex. We didn't talk about it after, she just wanted to pretend it never happened I guess but it didn't really change anything, not for the first couple of weeks anyway. Although looking back I guess that's about the time she suspected she was pregnant."

"It's a good thing Clare needs you two or I would kill you both right now." Adam shakes his head.

"Yeah no kidding," Drew nods, "call Clare and tell her that you know and you're going to be there for her." Drew insists.

"I tried she's not answering she's been avoiding us both," I tell them.

"Well you two better keep trying until she does," Drew tells us.

"Maybe she'll answer if I call her," Adam says and pulls out his phone we hear it ring a couple times and then she answers. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" He asks when she answers, I hear her say something and then dial tone. "She hung up," Adam says.

"Maybe you shouldn't have lead with that question," Drew chides his brother.

Adam grimaces at him and tries calling Clare again. "She turned off her phone," Adam tells us as he puts his phone back in his pocket.

"I suggest you two start doing some research on pregnant women because she won't avoid you forever and when she gets back she needs to know that you two are in this with her." Drew says.

I look at Dallas, he nods gets up going back to his portion of the basement and comes back with his laptop.

**(CLARE)**

I made my way back to the house after drinking my tea slowly, I was almost back when Adam called.

"Hey Adam," I answer.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" He demands.

"How did you…" I start and then realize either Maya or Tris told him or worse they told Owen! I hang up the phone, turn it off and run the rest of the way to the house and up the stairs. I hear Maya and Tris in his room with Miles and Winston. "You two with me now!" I demand and start walking to my room hoping that Jenna isn't in there and she isn't. They follow me in and I close the door glaring at them. "Why does Adam know I'm pregnant?!" I question in an irate tone but keep my voice to low whisper so no one else hears me.

They exchange a guilty look and then look back at me, both of them shifting nervously.

"We told Owen during our chat." Maya confesses.

"You guys! I told you not to do that! I trusted you two!" I scold them as a volcanic turmoil of emotions starts bubbling inside of me.

"Owen might be the dad and he's your friend he has the right to know," Tris contends.

"Well what did he say? I inquire.

"Mostly he yelled," Maya admits.

"See he hates me now and if Adam knows then I'm sure Dallas knows too. They probably both hate me!" I sigh opening the door and walking out.

"Clare where are you going?" Tris questions.

"Out I need some air, some space, time to think." I reply.

"Clare it's getting dark you shouldn't go by yourself," Maya calls after me but I ignore her and run out the house.

I walk for about a short ways before I catch bus and take it a few blocks; I actually end up back near the Orsay. Finding a little park I sit on a bench watching boats go by on the Seine. I sit there just staring at the water as it becomes dark around me and I barely even notice. My head is swimming with so many thoughts, my body swimming with so many emotions I feel like I might explode. Just when I feel tears about to break from my eyes someone sits down next to me and starts talking. It's the same boy from the Orsay on Friday he must live around here, at least I hope so.

"Such a pretty girl should not look so sad, especially in a beautiful place like this." He remarks.

His cheesy pick up line actually makes me smile a little. "I just have a lot on my mind, so do you live around here or do you just show up every time a girl sits on a bench?" I ask him.

"Just the beautiful ones but do I live just a couple of blocks from here and I like to walk down here in the evenings. I'm Dorian and I take it you're here with your school?" He asks.

"Yes on an eight week immersion trip, well seven weeks now, I'm Clare." I tell him with a smile.

I know I'm flirting with him and I probably shouldn't be but it's a nice little escape from my current reality. He's cute, he has a nice accent and I go home in seven weeks so whatever happens we can't get too involved. He doesn't know that I'm pregnant and since I won't be showing in seven weeks he never needs to know. I'm sure that Owen and Dallas hate me and that Adam is in the very least disappointed in me and quite possibly hates me too. God knows what Drew thinks and how many other people know. Maybe escaping my problems for a few weeks with some French fun is what I need; it couldn't hurt to flirt right? I mean so long as I keep it from going farther, I'm not about to sleep with him.

"Then you should be immersed, come with me." He says offering me his hand.

I take his hand without even thinking about it, I don't want to think about Dallas or Owen or anyone back home. I don't want to think about the baby I'm carrying or that I don't know whose it is because I was so stupid. I don't want to think at all. I want to be enjoying my time in Paris like I should be and I haven't yet. We walk a few blocks and he takes me down the street near the Moulin Rouge, I can see the windmill from where we are. We stop on a bridge and he pays an artist to sketch us then gives me the picture before we go to a café for French pastries and coffee although I skip the coffee.

"It's getting late I should get back to the house before bed check but I had fun tonight more fun than I've had in Paris yet so thank you." I smile.

"Meet me here tomorrow night, the tickets for the show are all sold out but a friend of mine works there and he'll let us in." Dorian tells me.

"I uh…" I hesitate because as much fun as I had this still feels a little wrong.

"Let me guess that boyfriend of yours back in the states? Your friend did say you were taken." He sighs.

"I'm not, I was but he's an ex now, it got messy my friend was just looking out for me." I reply.

"Then don't you think having a fling with a handsome Frenchman would drive your ex totally insane?" He questions.

"You forgot to add cocky but yeah it probably would. Okay I'll meet you tomorrow night." I smile and bite my lip.

Even if Eli doesn't care about me anymore it's bound to stab at him a little. Not to mention Owen and Dallas, well not sure how they'll react actually I have to admit I do kind of hope it makes them jealous, I'm sure it won't though. Okay so I'm giving in for not the best reasons but I need some fun, I need to relax or I'm going to go crazy and Dorian is fun. I don't like him and I'm not attracted to him the same way I was with Dallas or Owen. I also won't go anywhere that isn't public with him or let myself sleep with him.

"Perfect, tomorrow night at six then." He grins hailing me a cab.

The cab stops and he opens the door for me, I get in and he goes to kiss me but I turn my head and he gets my cheek. He doesn't seem to mind though and he closes the door. I tell the driver where to go and lean back, I have no idea what's going to happen when we go back to Toronto but at least I'll have fun for the rest of my time in Paris.

**(MAYA)**

Clare leaves totally mad at us and I look at my best friend, we both have the same slightly guilty look on our face I can just tell.

"We did the right thing didn't we?" I ask Tris feeling totally guilty that we betrayed Clare's trust.

"Owen has a right to know, he might be the dad and either way he's Clare's friend. He won't abandon her and I doubt he hates her. He just needs some time for it to sink in that's all. I don't know about Dallas but I doubt he'll be allowed to abandon her either." Tris replies.

"Yeah let's hope that's all Clare needs too, come one let's go back to your room hopefully she's just walking around the block and she'll be right back." I say.

"Everything okay?" Miles asks when we get back to the boys room.

"I hope so," I respond climbing on the top bunk with Miles while Tris sits on the bottom bunk with Winston.

I lie in Miles' arms, we're on our sides facing each other, he combs his fingers into my hair and presses our lips together. My lips part for him as my hand rests at the back of his neck, his tongue slipping in and dominating mine. We make out for a short while before his hand wanders up my shirt and squeezes my breast lightly over my bra. After another short while he works his way under the bra and starts lightly rolling my nipple between his fingers, I can feel him getting hard and I'm getting turned on too, the spot between my legs becoming wet and warm. If Tris and Winston weren't right below us we might have gone farther but for now this is all we did. A timer on Tris or Winston's phone went off and we broke apart.

"Bed check in twenty," Winston tells us which means we've spent the last two hours making out.

Miles and I sit up and I fix my hair. "I hope Clare's back," I remark as I look in the mirror to make sure my hair isn't all messed up still and my clothes are fixed.

"I'll walk you back to your room so we can find out, that way she can yell at us both if she's still upset and not just you." Tris offered and I smiled.

"She isn't here she better get back soon," I said when we got back to my room but no sooner had I said it than Clare walked in.

"Where have you been?" Tris asked her.

"Exploring the city," she responds setting her purse and a paper on her bed.

She walks off to the washroom and I look at the paper, it's a sketch from a street artist of her and some hot guy on a bridge they look cuddly.

"And what is this?" I question.

"Wait he looks familiar, isn't this the guy that hit on you at the museum Friday?" Tris questions.

"Yeah his name's Dorian, he's really sweet. I'm meeting him tomorrow to see the show at the Moulin Rouge." She tells us walking from the washroom to the closet to get her pajamas.

"How did he find you it sounds like he's stalking you?! And what were you doing with him you're taken?!" Tris exclaims in a reprimanding tone.

"He's not a stalker Tris I was near the Orsay again and he lives near there. And we didn't even kiss and anyway I am not taken. I understand why guys told Owen, I'm still a little mad at you for doing so when I told you not to but now that Owen and Dallas both know even if they don't hate me, which I'm sure they do, I'm not ready to face them or talk about it with them or with anyone really. Dorian doesn't know that I'm pregnant and we're leaving in seven weeks it can't get too serious it's just fun, innocent fun." She tells us and walks into the washroom to change and get ready for bed.

"I'm sure they don't hate her, well I'm sure Owen doesn't hate her but I doubt that Dallas does either. You heard Owen when we told him she slept with someone else that wasn't just protectiveness in his voice it was jealousy, he likes her. He might be mad or shocked but…" my sentence trails off as I start to scheme, then I get out my phone and snap a picture of the sketch.

"What are you planning?" Tris asks me raising his eyebrows.

"I'll just post it on my facerange page with the caption Clare having fun in Paris," I reply as I do it.

"Owen and Adam are friends with you on facerange and they'll see it, Adam will tell Dallas. Maya you're an evil genius!" Tris exclaims.

"Thanks, you better get back to your room though, we'll see you in the morning." I tell him.

He hugs me goodnight and leaves to go back to his room, Clare comes out of the washroom hiding the sketch of her in Dorian in her dresser just before Jenna comes back in the room. Since Clare's all ready for bed she gets under the covers and I go into the washroom to get ready for bed. While I don't think it was the smartest idea for Clare to go out with some French boy she does seem happier and less stressed, at least for now which is a good thing. Like the whole rest of the week my dreams that night are all about me and Miles and I wake up happy. I also wake up to find Clare in the washroom like every other morning this week. She has the water running to mask the sound of her vomiting but I know what she's doing. I get out of bed and look at my phone to check the time; it's barely even seven she woke up early. I also see that I have not only ten messages from Owen but also several from Dallas. I don't read them cause I'm pretty sure they're about that picture of Clare's sketch I posted last night.

"Morning, I'm going to get dressed and go get some tea," Clare says in a low voice so we don't wake up Jenna.

"Okay I'll get dressed and come join you." I tell her.

We both get ready and Jenna wakes up just as we're leaving to go down to breakfast. Clare takes tea and a biscuit, I take an actual breakfast and we sit down.

"Morning," Tris yawns.

"Morning you're up early Tris," I reply as he grabs some coffee puts in four packets of sugar and joins us at the table.

"Maybe because thanks to a certain facerange post my phone hasn't stopped going off." Tris says giving me a look.

"What did you post on facerange Maya?" Clare inquires before taking a sip of her tea.

"That sketch of you and Dorian," I reply and she spits out the tea in her mouth making Tris laugh.

"Maya you what?! Why would you do that?!" She exclaims.

"I'm surprised they haven't called or texted you," Tris replies.

"My phone's been turned off and I'm keeping it off now why on earth did you post that picture?" She asks me.

"I figured it would make Owen and Dallas jealous," I shrug.

"They won't get jealous they don't like me that way," she replies.

"Of course they do they both slept with you," I retort.

"Maya they're teenage guys once they're horny they don't use their brains anymore. The fact that they had sex with me only proves that they were horny. It doesn't prove that they have any feelings for me other than friendly ones." Clare counters.

I'm about to tell her I think she's wrong when Tris' phone rings and when he pulls it out he puts it on speaker.

"Hey bro you're up early," Tris answers.

As soon as Tris says bro Clare leaves the table, not just leaves but runs out before Owen even replies.

"I haven't been to sleep yet who the fuck is that in the picture with her and why is her phone still off?!" He demands.

"She's keeping her phone off; she's not ready to talk to you or Dallas." Tris tells him.

"The boy in the picture is Dorian they have a date tonight," I tell Owen with a smile.

"She's dating?!" He growls.

"I don't think she's dating, she's having fun. They're just going to a show." I respond.

A couple other kids come into the dining room and I pull Tris away in case Owen yells something he shouldn't. We find a storage closet down the hall for towels and stuff it seems private enough.

"She won't even talk to me or Dallas but she's carrying a baby that belongs to one of us and she's dating some French guy?!" Owen grumbles and he definitely sounds jealous.

"I already told you she's not dating some French guy, not yet anyway. Anyway she won't walk to you or Dallas because she's afraid that you guys hate her and she's ashamed." I inform him.

"Why would she think we hate her and why is she ashamed?" Owen asks but he doesn't sound angry anymore.

"Maybe because she slept with two of her best friends in a 24 hour period and got herself pregnant and now doesn't know who the father is." Tris replies in a snarky tone.

"She…we…damn it I wish she'd just talk to me! I wish she'd told me when she found out! How is she this morning? I mean you said she got dizzy before." He says as his tone becomes concerned.

"She had morning sickness again this morning but I don't think she's been dizzy or anything. She seemed a lot happier when she got back last night after she'd escaped for a while with Dorian." I tell him.

"Yeah great," he replies in a sorrowful yet sardonic tone. "We'll video chat in a couple of days, say Wednesday right after class?" Owen asks sounding despondent.

"Yeah sounds good we'll try to get Clare to join us," Tris says trying to sound hopeful.

Owen doesn't say anything else and just hangs up, I look at Tris and he shrugs putting his phone back in his pocket. We leave the closet and go out to the dining room which has filled up now. Miles and Winston are at the table, they've saved us seats, we go over and sit down kissing our boyfriends good morning.

"Where have you two been we went by your room?" Miles asks after we kiss.

"Sorry Owen called because of that picture Maya posted on her facerange page, Clare ran out but we talked to him." Tris explains.

"Yeah isn't that the guy from the museum yesterday?" Winston asks.

"Yep his name is Dorian they're going to the Moulin Rouge tonight." Tris replies rolling his eyes.

Jenna and Connor overhear this part of the conversation and Jenna asks us about Dorian of course we don't have any of the answers. After breakfast we all go up to class and Clare is already there at a table so we join her.

"Owen's going to video chat on Wednesday after class." I tell her.

"I can't," she replies quietly.

There's no time to argue with her as Madam Jean-Aux comes in and starts class. When class is done and we have our assignments for the day we get ready to leave to explore more of Paris and I see Clare talking to Madam.

"So you guys ready to go explore the fashion avenue of Paris?" Tris asks as we gather our stuff.

"Yeah should we see if Clare wants to come with us?" Miles asks.

"We're taking Clare this time sorry guys," Jenna tells us.

"Just watch her," I request and they give me a funny look.

"Jenna just wants to ask her a bunch of questions at that Dorian guy," Connor says rolling his eyes.

"Come on let's go there's shopping to be done," Tris says pulling at me and the four of us leave.

We take a bus and start looking around at the shops, Tris and Winston begin trying on hats while I look at the very expensive dresses in the shops.

"You would look very hot in that one," Miles says putting his arms around my waist from behind.

I smile at our reflection in the window and turn around putting my arms around his neck and bringing my lips to his.

"Come on you two we have at least fifty other stores to look at." Tris insists pulling us down the street.

After about three hours of looking through shops and none of us buying anything, because it was all very expensive, we go back to the house for dinner and then into the boys room. Just after climbing up to Miles' bed my phone rings and it's Dallas, I'm betting he isn't calling to talk to me.

"Hey Dallas," I answer.

"Hey where's Clare I can't get a hold of her?" He asks.

"She's leaving her phone off, she won't talk to either of you and she's out with Dorian right now." I tell him.

"Who the hell is Dorian?!" He demands.

"The guy in the picture, she says she's just having fun." I tell him.

"She's what?!" Dallas exclaims.

"Not that kind of fun Dallas, she's just trying to get her mind off of things for a while. She's not ready talk to either one of you yet just give her some time. At least you both know now." I remind him.

"Yeah that doesn't do me any fucking good if she won't even talk to me." He sighs.

"Tris and I will keep you guys up to date until she's ready to talk," I tell him.

"Thanks Maya," he replies and hangs up.

Miles gives me a curious look because he has no idea what's going on.

"Don't worry about it," I smile putting down my phone and brushing my hand into his hair as I press my lips to his.

I roll on my back, his hand cups my face, his tongue delving into my mouth and I only have one thought as we begin making out.

"_I have to find a way for Miles and I to be alone."_

**Update next Monday starting with Clare's outing with Dorian, a call from Adam, Maya and Tris video chatting with Owen and an M&M date**


	5. Thought is Suspect

**Ch. 5 Thought is Suspect**

**(CLARE)**

"You look enchanting," Dorian remarks walking up behind me.

"Thanks," I smile as he takes my hand and kisses it.

"Shall we?" He says.

He puts his arm around me and we walk across the street to the red windmill of the Moulin Rouge. We go around to the back, Dorian knocks on the door three times, it opens a second later and a brooding looking Frenchman with a five o'clock shadow opens it and smiles when he sees us. He greets Dorian in French then Dorian introduces me in French, the guys name is Aldrich and he kisses my hand and then both my cheeks before he shows us in.

"I hope you don't mind watching from backstage, the shows sell out pretty quickly," Dorian tells me as we're taken up to the catwalk and we sit down.

We have a bird's eye view from up here even if it is watching things backwards. It was a good show despite the slightly awkward view and when it's done we climb down from the catwalk. We thank Aldrich for letting us in and leave through the back door.

"So what did you think?" Dorian asks as we begin walking down the street.

"It was a good show with some very beautiful women in practically nothing," I reply.

"I think you could have put on one of the skimpy costumes and danced on stage with the other beautiful women." Dorian tells me.

"_Boy these French boys really know how to throw out a compliment." _I think to myself but that's not what I say. "All of those women were about two feet taller than me and thinner." I point out.

"Taller yes, perhaps even thinner but you have bigger breasts than most of them." He responds.

"_And they're very blunt," _I muse as I ponder slapping him but I don't. Maybe I should have because the next thing he does is kiss me, suddenly and without warning. It's awkward and not very pleasing, even a little disgusting, he pulls away and looks at me awaiting a reaction. I'm not sure how to respond but I pull out my phone and turn it on to check my phone without really thinking about it. As soon as it's on I'm flooded by several texts, missed calls and voicemails. I ignore them all and make note of the time before I get a phone call from Adam, it's actually a good excuse for me not to respond to the kiss.

"Uh that's my best friend, will you excuse me a moment?" I request pressing accept and walking away from Dorian a little. "Hi Adam," I answer.

"I've been calling you all day don't turn off your phone," he scolds me.

"Sorry but I couldn't deal with it and I didn't want to hear from Dallas or Owen, they aren't even supposed to know." I respond.

"They aren't supposed to know what? That they are both potential fathers?" Adam questions.

"Yeah exactly I told Maya and Tris not to say anything." I respond.

"Clare…" Adam begins in a scolding tone but I cut him off.

"Adam just don't, I don't want to talk to them, either of them…not yet." I assert.

"Fine so are you still out with that Dorian guy?" Adam asks.

"Yes we just went to the…wait how'd you know I was out with Dorian?" I inquire.

"When Dallas couldn't get a hold of you he called Maya and she told him. So how was your date?" Adam questions.

"It was fine we went to the Moulin Rouge the show was good. He kissed me before you called; it was awkward and kind of disgusting. Don't tell Owen and Dallas that, don't tell them about the kiss at all just tell them I had a pleasant time with Dorian and leave it at that." I insist.

"So when are you going to talk to them? They don't hate you and they're going to step up and be there for you." Adam tells me.

"Because they want to or because you, Drew and Bianca are forcing them to?" I query.

"We haven't told Bianca yet but Drew and I might have had a talk with them." Adam admits.

"Adam!" I reprimand. "I don't want them to stick around because they feel obligated and they're being forced to. I made a mistake, two actually and I can't face them yet. Even if they don't hate me I hate myself. I know that I'll have to face them when I come back and that's probably when I'll be ready to face them and talk to them again. I have to go Dorian's waiting and I have to be back for bed check soon." I tell Adam, getting agitated.

"Okay I'll tell them you need a little space, but I can't guarantee they won't stop trying to get you to talk to them and return their calls. Despite what you think Clare we all care about you, Dallas and Owen included and you can't get through this alone." Adam says and hangs up.

"Everything okay you look worried or lost in thought?" Dorian questions when I go back to him.

"Yeah everything's fine. You know a place to get some good chocolate around here?" I ask him.

"Yes right up the street," Dorian replies putting his hand at the small of my back and motioning down the street.

This feels kind of weird now, like I'm cheating which is silly because I am not dating either Dallas or Owen and I can't be cheating on both of them or either of them. I guess some of what Adam said is gnawing at me. I just don't know what in particular. I begin chewing on my bottom lip, a bad habit when I'm pondering something. The harder I think the harder I chew on my bottom lip.

"Are you going to tell me why you look so distressed?" Dorian questions after a few minutes.

"It's nothing really," I reply because I'm not about to tell him.

"You're not thinking about your ex are you?" He asks.

"What? No that ended very badly and I haven't thought about Eli in a while." I tell him as we pass an ad poster for jeans and I get an idea.

"Well here we are, they have the best chocolate and sweets in all of France," Dorian says pointing to a bakery/café across the street.

"Looks great I have to make a quick phone call can you go in and order me the most chocolate thing on the menu?" I request.

"No problem, don't take too long," he says and then kisses my cheek.

"_These French boys will touch you or kiss you any chance they get too." _

I wait until Dorian is across the street and get out my phone again, thumbing through the contacts until I find the right one.

"Clare? Everything okay?" He inquires when he answers.

"Hey Peter everything's fine I'm actually in Paris, it's an emersion trip with DeGrassi." I inform him.

"There was no Paris trip when I went to DeGrassi," he complains.

"I know it's new this year anyway I was hoping you might still have Mia's number or address?" I query.

"Yeah I have both I'll text them to you in a second." He says.

"Thanks Peter, I should go my date is waiting for me." I tell him.

"Whoa what date?" He asks.

"Goodbye Peter," I say hanging up.

Just when I reach the door of the café my text sound goes off and it's Peter sending me all of Mia's contact information.

"You weren't calling the ex were you?" Dorian questions.

"No I never want to speak to my ex again I was calling an old friend." I tell him.

"Good I ordered the chocolate soufflé and two drinking chocolates," he informs me.

I tell him a little about Eli while we wait for our dessert and while we're eating. The dessert is very good, definitely French pastry as it's rich and decadent.

"I don't know why you ever went out with this Eli he sounds dreadful and like he never treated you well." Dorian remarks as we leave the café.

"I fell for his eyes and the sensitive writer in him. I just didn't realize the dark that was behind those eyes. I have to get back to the house I should catch a cab." I tell him deciding I would like to end the date.

"I'll hail you a cab, can I see you again?" Dorian asks hailing for a taxi.

I should say no, I'm really not attracted to him, I felt nothing in his kiss. I should say no but in spite of the fact that I have no true attraction to him and am actually kind of disconcerted by him he's still a distraction.

"Uh sure how about Wednesday?" I suggest knowing Owen is going to be video chatting that night.

"Shall I pick you up from the house?" He asks opening the door to the cab.

"Umm better not, give me your number and I'll call you." I reply and take out my phone.

He puts his number in my phone and then kisses me again before I get in the cab.

"Where to?" The cab driver asks.

"13 Rue Saint-Dominique," I inform him, he starts driving and I call Maya. "Hey I need favor and you owe me after telling Owen when I expressly told you not to." I inform her when she answers.

"Okay but you better hurry back bed check is in seven minutes." Maya reminds me.

"Actually that's the favor, can you make it look like I'm sleeping in my bed when Madam comes to do bed check?" I request.

"You are not staying at that Dorian's place Clare! I thought you said you were only having fun?" She scolds.

"I am and I'm not with Dorian I'm going to visit an old friend, I'll be back before breakfast tomorrow." I enlighten her.

"You have an old friend that lives in Paris?" She questions dubiously.

"Yes Maya I do, I'm not with Dorian I swear. Can you make it look like I'm sleeping?" I ask her.

"Yeah fine but you had better be back before breakfast and keep your phone on okay?" She pleads.

"Yeah I will thanks Maya, see you tomorrow," I say.

"I better see you tomorrow, be careful," she responds and hangs up.

When the cab finally pulls up to the apartment building I pay the driver and get out. If the lobby is any indication these apartments are very luxurious and very pricey. I take the elevator to the sixth floor and find the right apartment, I hesitate a minute but finally knock on the door. It opens just a few seconds later and Mia is standing there, I watch her expression change as she realizes who I am.

"Clare?!" She exclaims pulling me in to the apartment and a tight hug.

"Hi Mia, I hope you don't mind me just dropping by I got your information from Peter?"

"No of course I don't mind, it's good to see you but what are you doing in Paris?" She asks as she closes and locks the door again.

"It's a school trip," I tell her and look down the hall when I hear footsteps coming toward us.

"Who was at the door?" Mia's mother asks I believe her name is Anna.

"Mom you remember Clare don't you?" Mia questions.

"Oh of course you babysat for Izzy a few times," Anna nods.

"She's on a class trip and came to visit," Mia tells her.

"That's fine, it's good to see you Clare Isabella is sleeping but I'm sure she'd love to see you." Anna comments.

"I would love to see her too but I have to be back where my class is staying early. I can could come back later in the day though." I offer.

"Good that would be wonderful; we'll be home by 3:30. Well I'll leave you two girls to catch up." Anna says and walks back down the hall toward her bedroom I presume.

Mia takes my hand pulling me to her living room, she has a great big picture window and I can see the Eiffel Tower all lit up. We sit on a sofa facing each other and she smiles at me.

"So tell me everything, you've grown up so much. Peter told me you had but you look great." Mia says.

"Thanks, you look just as I remember, better even modeling's been good to you. I would love to tell you everything that's happened since I last saw you but that may take a while." I remark.

"Okay, well how about we start with why you came to see me past ten at night, besides the fact that you just wanted to visit?" She suggests.

"I…I'm pregnant," I confess to her and her happy expression changes to one of shock as her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open.

"Pregnant! I thought you and Darcy took abstinence vows? You're still wearing your purity ring." She exclaims pointing to my finger.

"I did take an abstinence vow when I was young but my faith was chipped away until it was gone and I no longer believed in waiting until marriage. The ring is on only to fool my mother. I lost my virginity on prom night of all the terrible clichés and not even to my boyfriend! Actually I didn't have a boyfriend at that time; Eli was my ex by that point. I lost it to a boy I considered to be one of my best friends. I was drunk and we didn't use protection nor have we spoken of it since." I explain.

"So you haven't told him he's going to be a dad?" She questions.

"No he knows, I didn't tell him though but that's not the problem. See the next night was Fiona Coyne's graduation party. My ex was there and was being rude I almost left but Owen stopped me and we also had sex without protection. Either one could be the father. I considered both to be best friends of mine and after we slept together we didn't speak of it again. They didn't even know I had sex with the other until they were informed I was pregnant and I couldn't be sure who the father was." I disclose.

"But they both know that you're pregnant now?" Mia questions.

"Yes but I didn't tell them, I never planned on telling either one. I never planned on telling anyone at all. Maya, she's another girl on the trip and a friend of mine, well she saw the home pregnancy test I bought. She told her best friend Tristan and he happens to be Owen's younger brother. They told Owen when I refused to. I'm still not sure how Dallas found out but he did. I didn't want anyone to know; I just wanted to hide the pregnancy and get through it then give the baby up for adoption. Despite my changing beliefs I couldn't abort. I'm afraid they hate me, that I've ruined our friendships and even if they don't I'm not ready to face them. I know I can't raise a baby, I'm going into my senior year, I'm going to be the student council vice president. My mom wouldn't support me and my father is gone so there is no possible way I could raise a baby." I lament.

"I sense a but coming," Mia prods.

"But sometimes it's like I can feel the baby, feel it growing and turning into a little person inside me. I'm only 6 weeks pregnant, my baby is maybe 3 millimeters and doesn't even look like a person so I can't be feeling it grow." I tell her.

"But it's happening inside your body, you're bonding with the baby even at this stage. I remember that feeling; it's giving you second thoughts about giving up the baby isn't it?" She asks.

"Yes a little maybe, ugh I don't know I'm just…confused!" I complain crossing my arms and slumping back into the sofa.

"Of course you're confused, your hormones are changing and you aren't sure who the father is and you're stressing yourself out. Have you talked to the potential father's at all?" She asks me.

"Yeah, it was easier before they knew I was pregnant though. Before I thought I was pregnant things went back to the way they had been but as soon as I thought I was pregnant I started avoiding them. I was still talking to them though and if they'd never found out then I'd still be talking to them." I admit.

"So you really never planned on telling them?" Mia questions.

"How long was it before you decided to tell Lucas?" I inquire.

"I was four months before I told him but you know what Lucas was like. I didn't tell him because I knew he'd deny Izzy was his and he'd do nothing for us. Which is what he did but I had my mom, his mom and Jane at least." She tells me.

"Right and both Dallas and Owen used to be a lot like how Lucas was. That is…well they both grew up and became nicer, actually they've been great to me but I just…" I pause biting my lip trying to phrase it just right. "Dallas is repeating senior year and Owen is starting University in the fall, I can't really see either one skipping a Friday night or a party or heck a sports game to stay home and take care of pregnant me let alone a baby. Actually you might remember Owen he hung out with Bianca DeSousa and Fitz, hung out at the ravine and hung around Johnny's gang. He was on the football team with Riley too." I remind her and when her face becomes almost white by shock I know she remembers.

"Owen Milligan! You and…" she can't quite finish she's too shocked.

"He's changed, a lot, way more than Lucas ever did. Turns out his little brother was gay and Owen is very protective of him believe it or not. He's actually really…great." I defend Owen.

"Sounds like you have real feelings for Owen," Mia comments.

"Yeah that's another problem I do, for both of them that's what made it so easy to sleep with them both. Everything is such a mess! Now they know and they're trying to talk to me and I just can't talk to them, not yet. I just wanted to enjoy my time in Paris and I really haven't." I lament.

Mia moves closer putting her arm around my back and she looks thoughtful for a minute.

"You think your teacher might let you get away for a few days?" She asks me.

"Maybe, why?" I question.

"I have a shoot in London, we're leaving on Wednesday and we have a three bedroom suite with a pull out. If you don't mind the pull out you could come with us, get away for a bit. The shoot is only three days but we were going to stay for the weekend and then you and I could talk about everything, any questions you have. London is amazing, much nicer than Paris and there is a ton of things to do." Mia enlightens me.

"I'm pretty sure I could arrange something with Madam Jean-Aux. Thanks Mia that would be great I really need someone to talk to." I smile.

"Of course Clare, I understand I've been there," Mia smiles at me. "It's pretty late you should stay the night. The chaise makes a great bed I'll grab some bedding." She tells me getting up and disappearing around the counter.

I set my alarm nice and early so I can be sure to get back to the house before anyone is up. Mia brings me some bedding and helps me set up the bed then bids me goodnight and I fall asleep looking forward to going to London.

**(MAYA)**

I woke up hearing the bedroom door open and looked over to see Clare sneaking in. I looked at my phone to see that it was just a little after 6am and she was just getting in.

"How was your night with Dorian?" Jenna yawns after Clare has the door closed.

"Our date, if you can even call it that was fine but I didn't stay the night at his place." Clare says.

"Then why are you just getting in at dawn?" I question, hey I have to know what I'm telling Owen and Dallas.

"I have a friend that lives in Paris, I was at her place. I'm going to shower and go down to breakfast." Clare tells us.

She goes to the closet grabbing a change of clothes and then into the washroom closing the door. I hear the shower come on and look down to the bottom bunk at Jenna who's already falling asleep again.

"Does she have a friend that lives in Paris?" I inquire.

"None that I know of but we can ask Alli later or Adam might know." Jenna yawns turning over.

I am awake now and can't sleep so I get out of bed, dressing in the closet and waiting for Clare to get out of the washroom. When the washroom door opens I go in and finish getting ready for the day. I hear Clare leaving the room so as soon as I'm done I go down to the dining room where she's sipping tea.

"Did you get sick again this morning?" I ask her after I grab breakfast and sit next to her.

"Yeah, I had to make the cab pull over once it's getting better though, sort of." She replies.

"So who do you know that lives in Paris?" I question.

"Have I ever told you about Peter?" She queries. I think a minute and then shake my head. "He owns Above the Dot and used to date my sister. After Darcy went to Africa he started dating this girl named Mia. I used to baby sit for her daughter but Mia moved to Paris when she was offered a modeling contract. I spent the night at her place. She's been pregnant before I thought it might help to talk to her." Clare tells me.

"And did it?" I ask.

"Yeah it did," Clare nods.

"So you going to talk to the big daddy's yet?" I query and Clare almost spits out her tea.

"Don't call them that it makes them sound like pimps or something, and no I'm not." She replies and I grimace at her.

More people start coming in the dining room so I don't bring it up again. After she sips her tea she does eat a little, Jenna apparently doesn't know about Mia but she did transfer in the middle of grade nine to DeGrassi which was I guess after Mia left. We all walk to the classroom together and sit together at the table in back like every day.

"You want to come with us today?" Miles asks Clare when we've been given our assignments for the afternoon.

"Uh sure I need to talk Madam real quick though," Clare tells us and goes up to Madam.

Jenna tells us she and Connor are going to visit the science museum before they visit city hall, which was everyone's assignment for the day. We wave to Jenna and Connor while watching Clare's exchange with Madam. We can't hear what they're saying or see Madam's face but Clare's expression goes from hopeful to extremely excited and elated. She practically skips back over to us, I haven't seen her so happy in weeks.

"You seem awfully cheery," Winston remarks when she joins us.

"I'm going to London tomorrow," she smiles gathering her stuff and we follow her to our room where everyone leaves their books.

"What do you mean you're going to London tomorrow?" Tris asks.

"The class day trip to London isn't for a couple of weeks," I point out.

"I know I'm staying through the weekend. I'm going with Mia, her mom and Izzy. Madam will give me the assignments I miss and I'll have to make them up. I convinced her it would be a good cultural experience and I'm writing an essay about my experience for extra credit." Clare tells us as we walk out of the house.

"Don't tell me you're going to London to get out of video chatting with Owen?" I accuse.

"Don't be silly Maya I made a date with Dorian for Wednesday that's how I was going to get out of video chatting with Owen. Oh Dorian! I better text him and tell him I can't make it tomorrow night." She says pulling out her phone and sending a text while the rest of us exchange a look.

We got the visit to city hall over and done with rather quickly, it really wasn't that intersting. After we got the work out of the way we let Miles take the lead as he was the only one that had been to Paris and knew his way around.

"So girlfriend how about a date tonight, dinner with Tris and Chewy, and Clare too if she wants to come, then after dinner we can slip out on our own." Miles says with a coy smile and I blush.

"That sounds wonderful but I don't think Clare will want to come, she'll probably be packing for tomorrow." I tell him.

Miles just smiles and steals a kiss from me. He shows us some his favorite places and then we return to the house to change for dinner. I mean if we're going to have a romantic night out then I want to look hot. The boys walk Clare and I to our room only when we get there we see a boy sitting on Clare's bed.

"Dorian?!" Clare exclaims when she sees him.

The rest of us freeze as Dorian looks over, he gets up and Clare goes up to him, leaving the rest of us behind as we've become frozen at the door.

"Can anyone say stalker?" Tris says under his breath.

"What are you doing here?" Clare inquires.

"I came to find out why you broke our date," he tells her.

"I'm going to London tomorrow. How did you even find out where I was staying?" She questions.

"All the public schools stay in this neighborhood, I knew which school you went to and then I asked one of the students where your room was." Dorian explains.

"I agree with Tris this guy is a stalker," Winston nods.

"Yeah I think we better call your brother a little early." I say in a low voice so Clare won't hear me.

Tris gets out his phone clicking on the video chat app.

"The least you could do for breaking the date is come to dinner with me tonight." Dorian says as Owen appears on Tris' phone.

Tris holds up his finger to his lips warning Owen to be silent. As Clare seems to be pondering whether or not to accept the invitation Dallas' face appears behind Owen. How fortunate that they both happen to be there, I have a feeling this is going to be good. Tris warns them to be quiet again and turns his phone so they can see Clare and Dorian.

"Uh alright, just let me change." She answers slowly.

When she starts to turn around to face us Tris turns his phone back so Clare doesn't see Dallas and Owen on Tris' phone. Clare gives us a suspicious look before walking to the closet and pulling out a dress. She walks past us again to the washroom and closes the door.

"Is that guy that Dorian creep?" Dallas questions.

"You have no idea what a creep," I mutter as Miles walks past us and Tris turns his phone around again so Owen and Dallas can watch.

"Hey creepy French guy you better watch your hands and your behavior tonight. And Clare better be back in this room no later than nine, one minute late and I'll hunt you down. I find out you were anything but a perfect gentleman tonight I'll hunt you down anyway." Miles threatens and I smile.

"Yeah and we'll be right behind him, we'll break every bone that you have in your body." Owen growls from the phone.

"If we were there we'd kill you right now!" Dallas adds.

Dorian looks scared but only for a minute as Clare opens the washroom door and emerges in a blue dress. The look on Dorian's face becomes one of pleasure and he holds out his hand to Clare.

"CLARE!" Owen and Dallas yell together as soon as she takes Dorian's hand, making Clare jump.

She looks over at them surprised, then looks angry. "Come on Dorian let's go to dinner," she says pulling him out the door while Owen and Dallas call after her.

"Hey Miles," Owen says when she's out of sight and Tris hands the phone to Miles.

"Yeah?" Miles asks.

"Thanks for threatening that prick, couldn't have done it better myself. Good to know Clare, Maya and my brother are being well looked after out there." Owen praises.

"Yeah I already want to break that guy's neck. Will you give us a full report when she gets back?" Dallas requests.

"Yeah we will, call you at 9:05 for us." Miles nods.

"I don't mean to be rude but the four of us did have dinner plans." Tris speaks up.

"Have fun we'll talk to you later and hey be good," Owen warns us and I twist my face at him.

We say goodbye and Tris hangs up, I tell them I'm going to change and be right out. I pick a black dress with cream colored polka dots from the closet and go into the washroom. After changing and fixing my hair a little I exit the washroom receiving approving whistles from all of the boys. I smile and twirl in my dress to show it off. Miles offers me his arm and the four of us exit back out to the city streets. Miles hails a cab and tells the driver to take us to the Eifel Tower. He pays the driver when we stop and we find out that he's already made reservations for the four of us at the Jules Verne, the restaurant on the second floor.

"Miles Hollingsworth you are quite crafty," I grin kissing his cheek.

The restaurant is romantic but pricey; Miles and Chewy assure us they are paying however. The food, like most French food is very rich. We talk a little during dinner but mostly Miles and I spend our time gazing at each other. Tris and Winston are doing the same.

"We'll meet you back at the house in a while, I'm going to take Maya to the Pont de Arts." Miles tells them putting his arm around me when we leave the restaurant.

We stroll down the street to the bridge, the same bridge where Clare and Dorian had their portrait drawn the other night. It's nearing dusk but there are still artists working under the light of the street lamps. Miles pays to have our portrait done in charcoal, then we stroll to the middle of the bridge and lean on the railing. Miles puts his arm around me and we watch the boats, the sunset and then the stars. Miles turns to me cupping my chin and pulling me to him for a tenderly passionate kiss.

"Maya Matlin I think I might be falling in love with you," Miles whispers against my lips.

My lips curl into a blissful smile and I join our lips again.

**Aww aren't M&M cute? Update next Monday from round about here in Maya's pov, Clare going to London with Mia, some more of Dorian and a few calls or video chats home.**

**Shout out to tomfeltonlover1991 for requesting Miles threaten Dorian.**


	6. Don't Have to Stand Alone

**Ch. 6 Don't Have to Stand Alone**

**(MAYA)**

"I know I'm falling in love with you." I smile, he leans in to kiss me again but I stop him. "You know I'm sure Clare and Jenna are still out, we could go back to my room. It would be more private." I suggest.

"Well lets' go back to your room then," Miles grins taking my hand.

We catch a cab back to the house to get their faster and go up to my room. Just as I thought Clare and Jenna are still out and we have the room to ourselves. I close the door and we climb up to my bunk. I lie on my back and he attaches his lips to mine. At first I comb my fingers into his hair, raking and pulling at his short hair as his tongue dominates mine as we deepen the kiss. Wanting to feel more of his skin against mine I grip his shirt pulling it off over his head and tossing it to the end of my bed. Reaching to my side I unzip my dress, pulling the sleeves off my arms and then pulling the dress down enough to expose my bra and midriff. Miles gives me a lustful grin, his fingers gently grazing over my stomach as he takes my lips again. I encircle my arms around his neck and part my lips for him. I'm nearly ready to start getting his pants and the rest of my dress off when I hear the door to the room open.

"Oops sorry," Jenna apologizes as she comes in the room, Miles and I scramble to get fully dressed again.

"Hey it's after nine," Miles says to me now that his shirt is on and I'm still zipping my dress. "Did you see Clare on your way in?" He asks Jenna.

"No but bed check isn't for another hour," Jenna says.

"Yeah but she went out with French stalker boy and we told him he better have her back by nine." I tell Jena as Miles hops off my bunk and lifts me down.

"French stalker boy?" Jenna questions arching her eyebrows.

"Dorian, she canceled a date on him tomorrow night so he found out where she was staying and was waiting in this room when we got back this afternoon." Miles explains.

"Eww that's creepy! And she still went out with him?" Jenna questions.

"He said the least she could do for breaking their date was to go to dinner with him and she agreed." Miles tells her while I go out to the balcony to see if I can see her walking in.

I do only she's not alone Dorian is with her and they seem to be kind of arguing. "Miles she's out front with Dorian." I tell him.

Miles runs out of the room while Jenna comes out to the balcony with me. We watch as Miles appears on the steps and punches Dorian before Clare even realizes Miles is there. Clare gasps a little and Miles turns to look at Clare but Dorian recovers and looks like he's about to punch Miles.

"MILES!" I call to him and he turns around blocking Dorian's fist.

"Dorian just go I'm going to London tomorrow anyway." Clare snaps at him and turns to come back inside.

"Stay away!" Miles warns in a harsh voice following Clare inside.

"Miles is nice and you two seem to be getting on well, didn't mean to bust in on you." Jenna apologizes while we wait for Clare and Miles to come into the room.

"We're falling in love, I feel like I'm flying when I'm with him." I gush.

"Aww puppy love I had that with K.C. just be careful you don't need to rush. I wish I hadn't." Jenna says.

I know why she's warning me after what happened with K.C. but I don't think we're rushing at all. I don't have time to answer though as Clare comes in with Miles, he has his arm loosely around her shoulders in a friendly and protective way.

"Are you okay?" I ask her as we join them.

"I'm fine; those French boys but just don't like the word no." She says and this doesn't make me feel any better. "I'm going to get ready for bed." Clare tells us grabbing her pajamas from the dresser and goes into the washroom.

"We better call Owen and Dallas we promised," I tell Miles pulling out my phone.

"She back yet?" Owen asks when he answers, I appear to be on speaker phone.

"Yeah she just got back, she was late and they were arguing on the stairs so Miles punched Dorian and Clare told Dorian to leave." I tell Owen and whoever else is listening.

"Did he touch her?!" Owen and Dallas demand at the same time.

"I don't know she's getting ready for bed." I reply.

"Let us talk to Miles for a minute," Owen requests and I hand the phone to Miles.

"Hey…asking her for another date and she told him no so I punched him…no problem…yep can do…she's going to London tomorrow…no with some girl named Mia." Miles tells the guys and then hands the phone to me.

"Hi," I say when the phone is to my ear.

"Why didn't you tell us she was going to London?" Owen asks.

"I was too busy worrying about her being around Dorian she said Mia was a friend of hers and that it was helping Clare to talk to her." I reply.

"They are friends and if it helps her talk to us then good." Owen remarks as Clare comes out of the washroom in her pajamas.

"She just came out of the washroom," I tell them.

"Good let us talk to her," Dallas says and I hold the phone out to Clare.

She looks at the phone and looks at me. "I don't want to talk to Owen," she replies walking to the closet to put in her dirty clothes and getting out her smaller suitcase so she can pack for tomorrow.

"It's Owen and Dallas," Miles tells her.

"I don't want to talk to either of them," she snaps putting her suitcase on her bed.

"She d…" I start to tell them and Owen cuts me off.

"Yeah we heard," he says sounding a little dejected. "Put the phone on speaker." Owen commands so I do walking over the closet and leaning on the wall while she gets down clothes.

"You can't go out with that creep anymore!" Owen says in loud voice and Clare jumps a little.

She looks at the phone with an irate look of annoyance. "You guys don't know anything about him and you don't get any say in who I do or do not date!" She says lacing her voice with venom then storms out of the closet to her bed and I follow her.

"WE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DO GET A SAY IN WHO YOU DATE!" They both yell very loudly and I see Jenna give Clare a puzzled look while Miles just looks a little surprised.

"You are pregnant and one of us is the father so we do get a say in this!" Dallas asserts.

The bedroom door wasn't closed but I don't think anyone outside of this room heard that. However Jenna knows now and Miles too, his face goes from shock to an understating of why they are so very protective of her. Jenna on the other hand looks like she's having a heart attack, her eyes are bulging from her head, her mouth has hit the floor, she's pale and I'm not sure she's breathing but she has known Clare longer and Clare isn't the type to sleep around. Miles goes over to Jenna putting a hand on her arm and she finally lets out a breath.

"Michael!" Clare reprimands in an angry tone. He doesn't even like to be called Mike and she just used his full first name, but he is in trouble. "There are other people in the room you can't just blurt that out!" She growls.

"We trust Miles he punched out Dorian," Owen says.

"Jenna's in the room too," Clare points out.

"She's your friend and people should know more people to keep you away from creeps like Dorian until you come back to us." Owen says but it was the wrong thing to say as Clare goes red in the face!

"EXCUSE ME! UNTIL…" She screams irately and then lets out a frustrated scream. "I am not talking to either of you just leave me alone!"

With that she exits out to the balcony closing the door behind her, Jenna follows her.

"I didn't mean it like that," Owen says apologetically.

"I'm sure she knows she's just upset, Jenna's talking to her." I assure Owen.

"Don't worry I'll keep French stalker boy away from her and any other guys. Well I'm not going with her to London but when she gets back no other guy will get near her." Miles tells the guys.

"Thanks Miles, I'm starting to think we should look into coming to Paris." Dallas comments.

"No don't do that Clare would kill you both, she needs some time." I respond.

"We'll take care of her, don't worry. Us, Tris, Chewy, Jenna and I'm guessing Connor. We'll bring her back to you guys in one piece and untouched by any other guy." Miles assures them.

"Good thanks Miles," Dallas praises.

"I'll talk to you kids tomorrow," Owen says and hangs up.

I toss my phone on my bed and Miles cups my chin for a softly passionate kiss.

"It really does mean a lot to them that you want to look after Clare so well. She's very very important to them both." I comment when he pulls away.

"Obviously, she's pregnant with a kid that belongs to them, well one of them anyhow." he responds.

"Well yeah that did change things; she became even more important to them but even before that." I inform him.

"So uh why doesn't she know who the father is?" Miles questions but it's not mean or judgmental merely curious.

"They were really close friends after her old boyfriend Eli took drugs and was sort of abusive. That's when they started looking out for her, well on prom night Eli was there with his new girlfriend and Clare just couldn't hand it. She found some liquor and got drunk, Dallas took her to his house since her mom would have killed her if she came home drunk and they had sex. Then the next night, less than 24 hours later, at a grad party Eli was being mean to her. Owen stopped her from running out but they also had sex and both times without protection. Now she's ashamed and confused and…well you see her. Listen Tris knows and now Jenna obviously but nobody else on the trip knows. We can probably tell Winston now but don't tell anyone else." I request of him.

"Don't worry I won't say a thing. I better get back to my room see you in the morning Beautiful," Miles tells me before giving me another passionate kiss. "Tell Jenna and Clare that I said goodnight." Miles requests and then leaves the room.

I close the door behind him and look out to the balcony; Clare and Jenna are still talking so I figure I better let the two talk and decide to get ready for bed.

**(CLARE)**

"That's why you've been avoiding Owen and Dallas?" Jenna asks coming out to the balcony and closing the door behind her.

I turn around to face her, leaning on one corner of the railing, my right hand curled with my fingers resting just under my lip. I'm sure the shame in my eyes is evident even under the gloss of tears in my eyes. I nod before taking a deep breath to explain to one of my closest girlfriends.

"Remember how I got drunk on prom night and Dallas took me home?" I ask and she nods. "I kissed him and that became making out and next thing I know we're making love. I lost my virginity to one of my best friends and it was wonderful. It probably would have been even better if I hadn't been so drunk and the motive behind it hadn't been to get Eli off my mind. We didn't speak of it after and we didn't tell anyone else. The following day was Fiona's graduation party…" I'm saying when Jenna cuts me off.

"I remember, Eli was being an ass and you started to run out then Owen went after you. You guys didn't return for over an hour, I thought you guys went for a walk or something." Jenna says.

"I think everyone did but he took me into Drew's old room. I wanted to stop thinking about Eli and to not feel the way Eli had made me feel so I kissed Owen. It was a lot like the night before only I wasn't drunk and I'd already lost my virginity. Kissing became making out which became making love. It was wonderful too and I did have…do have actual feelings for both of them. Just like with Dallas after it happened we didn't speak of it or tell anyone else and things with the three of us pretty much went back to normal." I tell her.

"But you're not talking to either of them?" Jenna asks.

"I was until I started to suspect I was pregnant and then I started avoiding them. I can't talk to them, not yet, not about this I'm not ready. Actually I simply intended to never talk to them about this. I planned on hiding the pregnancy and giving away the baby and never telling anyone." I inform Jenna.

"Yeah because I'm sure that would have worked well. So what's the plan now?" She questions.

"I don't know, I still plan on giving up the baby but a lot of people know I'm pregnant now. You, Maya, Miles, Tris, Owen, Dallas, Drew and Adam all of you know so I don't know about hiding the pregnancy anymore. Although I can't tell my mom she'll kill me or ship me off. I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm not ready to face Owen or Dallas. They must hate me and even if they don't I hate myself; I used them to spite Eli and feel something other than how Eli made me feel. I probably ruined our friendship and I don't want them sticking by my side through the pregnancy out of obligation." I explain.

"I'm sure they don't hate you or feel obligated, they wouldn't have gotten so protective and angry about the company you were keeping here if either one of those were the case. You do realize you'll have to face them at some point and you probably shouldn't wait until you get back. If your family isn't going to be around to help you then you should have them. It just gets harder from here. Wait have you been in the washroom every morning because you're getting morning sickness?" She queries and I nod. "I hated morning sickness it went away after the first month for me though and you have to be…" Jenna stops trying to do the math.

"Seven weeks on Wednesday," I tell her.

"Well I'm sure it will pass soon, so what about Dallas and Owen?" Jenna inquires.

"I don't know I'm just not ready maybe after this weekend with Mia." I reply.

"Well I'm here for you if you need me," Jenna says.

"I know thanks Jenna, don't tell anyone else please, not yet. I'm sure it will come out eventually but I…"

Jenna puts her hand on my arm and smiles at me. "I won't say a word to anyone, come on let's get inside you're only wearing pajamas and it's getting cold out here." Jenna says opening the door and we go inside.

After closing the balcony door and curtains she gives me a big hug. Maya is in the washroom so Jenna goes into the closet to change into her pajamas. I finish packing for London and close up the suitcase putting it by my bed when Maya comes out of the washroom and Jenna goes in.

"Are you okay?" Maya asks.

"Yeah just…very emotional right now," I answer slowly.

"Yeah but you have a good reason. You know Owen didn't mean it like that and I'm sure Dallas didn't mean to blurt it out." Maya tells me.

"Yeah sure," I reply but I'm sure they both meant it. "I should get to bed Mia is coming to pick me up early." I say and get into bed.

Maya says goodnight and climbs up to her bed. I grab my phone to set an alarm and see that I have a new text message; it's from Dorian.

**Dorian: I'm sorry I'm used to French girls with no inhibitions. I promise to be good if you'll go out with me again.**

It's almost tempting to forward the text to Owen and Dallas just because it sounds so bad. It really wasn't, he tried to make out with me in the park and I slapped him. It was time to get back anyway so I started walking back to the house and he came with me. I kept telling him to go home and he wouldn't. Of course when he tried to kiss me at the door and as me out again Miles punched him. I was growing quite fond of Miles, I thought he made a wonderful boyfriend for Maya and I am sure Owen feels the same way. I should tell Dorian to go to hell but I won't, not today anyway. Not after how Owen and Dallas were acting like I was somehow their property because I was caring a child that one of them was the father of. I might go on a date with Dorian just to prove to Owen and Dallas that I can and they can't tell me who to see or what to do. I text Dorian back without saying anything definite just in case I get back to my right mind again.

**Clare: I'll think about it and will text you when I get back.**

I set an alarm and go to put the phone down when my finger hits the photos button. The picture that comes up is one of me, Dallas and Owen. It both hurts and makes me happy to see the picture. It was the last picture we took together before I started thinking I was pregnant. We're in the Torres back yard at a BBQ, Dallas and Owen are standing next to each other and they lifted me up so that I was sitting between them on their shoulders. I can't help but scroll through the other pictures from that day. One of the three of us making a small human period with me on top. One of the boys wrestling, one of Owen picking me up and lastly one of me getting tickled by Dallas. Adam took most of the pictures on his phone and sent them to me. Watching how happy the three of us were causes two very conflicting feelings inside of me. I feel worse than before, more ashamed and guiltier for ruining that, making me more determined not to talk to them so I don't have to face them. But at the same time it makes me yearn for them, want to be in their arms and flirt with them, want them to hold me and comfort me. It's tempting to call them or text them even but I do neither and simply set down my phone on the bedside table.

I have a nightmare that night, like I have had nearly every night since confirming I was pregnant. While I have a nightmare almost every night they're always different although they all center around the pregnancy typically. Most often it's about me somehow losing the baby which I find ironic given the fact that I'm not keeping the baby. I've had a couple about Owen and Dallas hating me and turning their backs on me never to be my friends again and claiming the baby doesn't belong to either of them. I've had a few about telling my mother and she never reacts well. In one she locks me in the basement until I give birth and then she rips the baby away from me and sends me to live with my very strict and religious grandparents. In another she gets so angry that she pushes me out of my bedroom window and the impact forces me to miscarry and I break my back. In the last one I had involving my mother she forced me into a marriage and keeping the baby. Sadly these are all entirely possible scenarios if my mom does ever find out.

Tonight's phantasm of disquiet however was about Dorian. We were on a date and he went to kiss me but I shoved him away, he gets angry and rapes me. And even though it couldn't really happen, in the dream when he rapes me he gets me pregnant with his child and whatever child I'm carrying now is lost. My mom suddenly appears and knows we're pregnant so she forces me to marry him. Once we're married Dorian takes me away a remote part of France and I never see Dallas, Owen or anyone else again. I wake up panting and sweating with a few tears rolling down my cheeks. After a few minutes to calm down I look at my phone. It's a little after four in the morning, I have to be up in an hour anyway and it's about ten back home. I get up since I can't go back to sleep after dressing and getting ready to go I grab my suitcase and go down to the kitchen. Breakfast isn't out yet but there is coffee brewing and hot water for tea. The kitchen staff gives me an odd look for being down so early. I make myself some tea and sit at the table taking my phone from my purse and calling Adam.

"Hey you okay?" Adam asks when he answers.

"Define okay," I reply.

"You're up really early, couldn't sleep?" He asks.

"A nightmare, I've been having a lot of them almost every night." I tell Adam and can hear Dallas and Owen in the background asking if I'm okay. "Will you tell them I'm fine before they grab the phone from your hand please?" I request.

"She had a bad dream," Adam announces to Dallas, Owen and I'm sure Drew. "So what was the nightmare about?" Adam asks me.

"Do…" I start to tell him it was about Dorian but stop myself because he'll tell Owen and Dallas. And I'm sure they'll call me all worried and telling me it's a sign and I'm never allowed to see Dorian again. "Don't remember, I don't remember." I reply. "Mia will be here soon to pick me up I should go." I say quickly when I hear Dallas, Owen and Drew in the background all talking at once.

"Okay," Adam sighs, "call me or Drew from London huh?"

"Yeah I will bye Adam."

I hang up putting the phone back in my purse and finishing my tea before going outside to wait for Mia, Anna and Izzy to get here. It's cold out here and I turn getting my jacket out of my suitcase. I zip my suitcase again and put on my jacket when I feel a male hand on my waist and I spin around.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I demand in a scolding tone when I see that it's Dorian.

"I had to talk to you before you left," he tells me.

"Dorian it's not even five in the morning you can't be lurking outside the house waiting for me. I told you I would text you when I get back, I'm waiting for my friend to pick me up and I'll text you when I get back." I state in a firm voice.

"But when are you coming back?" Dorian asks.

"Dorian please just go," I assert.

"Clare please I want to see you again, I can't stop thinking about you. I'm truly sorry for my behavior yesterday evening it was appalling. I would never hurt you and will never do anything like that again." Dorian apologizes and takes something sparkly from his pocket.

It's a silver bracelet with a heart charm; he takes my hand and slips the bracelet on my wrist.

"The bracelet is very nice Dorian thank you and so was the apology. Look there's a lot going on right now and I need some time to think. I'll text you when I'm back from London okay?" I reiterate.

"Promise?" Dorian asks.

"Yes," I nod.

He smiles and walks across the street to a car and gets in driving off. Once he's gone I slip the bracelet off and tuck it in the suitcase. I see a cab pull up a few minutes later with Anna in the passenger seat and Mia with Izzy in the back. The driver gets out and puts my suitcase in the trunk and I get in the back with Mia and Izzy.

"Hi Clare!" Izzy says happily giving me a tight hug.

"Hey Izzy you've gotten so big," I say hugging her back. "Thanks again for having me I really need this." I say to Mia and Anna.

"No problem Clare it's our pleasure," Ann says turning back to smile at me.

"I have to go straight to the shoot when we get there, they rescheduled some things. You can hang out at the shoot with me if you want but it's not that interesting." Mia tells me.

"I'll be taking Izzy to get some breakfast and then she wants to go to her favorite places. You're welcome to join us," Anna offers.

Izzy spends the cab ride and ride through the Chunnel telling me all about her life in Paris. There's a car waiting to pick us up when we arrive, Mia is taken to the shoot location and we leave our bags in the car when it drops us off at a diner near millennium pier. After eating we go on the London Eye and then we go to Kensington Gardens. We spend the whole day going to various places that Izzy loves and I don't think once about being pregnant, about Dallas or Owen, or Dorian for that matter.

**(OWEN)**

I was supposed to video chat with Tris and Maya at eight but I over slept. When I finally did wake up and looked at the clock it was after ten.

"Shit!" I exclaim getting out of bed.

I throw on some jeans and a t-shirt then comb my hair real fast and call my brother on video chat since he's signed in.

"It's four you're late," Tris scolds when he accepts the call.

"Sorry I overslept; I was at the Torres place until three last night…or this morning. Did Maya go off with Miles when I didn't call?" I question seeing Winston sit by my brother but not Maya or Miles in the room, least not from the angle I have.

"No they're here," Tris says picking up the laptop.

He unplugs it, walks a few steps and turns the laptop holding it up. I see Miles on the top bunk with no shirt and a mass of blonde hair behind his head.

"HEY!" I holler breaking them apart and my jaw tightens when I see that Maya has no shirt on either. "What the hell do you two think you're doing?! You better get some goddamn clothes on and get down her to talk to me." I command angrily.

Maya and Miles start scrambling to get their clothes back on and Tris lowers the laptop. He sits on the bottom bunk with Winston and sets the laptop in front of them.

"What were you doing at Adam's place so late? I thought his mom kicked everyone out by one?" Tris asks me as I hear Maya and Miles climbing down from the top bunk.

"Hanging with Dallas we were doing some research," I reply cautiously because I don't know how much Winston knows.

"How'd that go? I mean how are things between you guys? Clare's worried that she ruined your friendship." Tris tells me.

"I wish she'd stop thinking that crap or talk to us so we could straighten her out. Dallas and I are cool, we're still friends. We do want to punch each other half the time but we don't." I tell them as Maya and Miles get comfortable on the bed, Maya next to Tris and Miles next to Winston. "You two should not be making out on a bed with no shirts on! You are fifteen and she's practically a little sister to me! I better not ever catch you two doing that again! And Miles you're very lucky that you've been taking such good care of Maya, Clare and Tris and earned my trust or I would reach through this screen and crush you!" I warn Miles.

"Owen!" Maya admonishes.

"Hey you are practically a part of our family and your parents aren't going to scare your boyfriends into behaving that's my privilege." I grin.

"It's okay Maya he's just doing it because he cares," Miles says.

I knew I liked that kid.

"So you guys hear from Clare yet?" I ask them.

"She texted but I didn't look at it," Maya says as her cheeks turn pink. Maya disappears and comes back with her phone. "They've checked into the hotel and she loves London." Maya tells us.

We talk for another half hour; it's mostly Tris telling me how much fun he has with Chewy, Maya gushing over Miles and him praising her. They are all in the bliss of being in-like with each other and it's cute. We make plans to video chat again Saturday and we say goodbye. After eating breakfast I watch TV while I wait for DeGrassi's summer camp to get out so I can go to the Torres house when the guys will be home.

"Hey you hear anything?" Dallas asks as soon as I walk into the Torres basement.

"Clare's in London, they checked into the hotel and she loves London, she texted Maya. Speaking of I caught Maya and Miles making out on a bed with no shirts on." I tell him through clenched teeth.

"I caught them making out on the bed the other day too, they had shirts on though." Dallas informs me.

"Shit Miles moves fast, or maybe it's Maya probably learned from Katie." Drew snickers and Adam's text message sound goes off.

"It's Clare she sent me a picture from her hotel balcony." Adam says cautiously looking at Dallas and me.

"Let me see," Drew says taking the phone. "Nice looks like Mia's treating her good." Drew smiles.

"I'll just be happy if Mia gets her to talk to us again." I respond.

"Yeah me too," Dallas nods.

We look at the picture of Clare leaning on the railing of a high balcony. She's smiling and looks like she's having fun, their hotel room is up high and you can see Big Ben behind Clare.

"You know if Clare's Mom finds out she's pregnant she'll either send her away or kick her out." Adam remarks.

"No fucking way I'm letting her bitch of a mother send her away." I state with a clenched jaw.

I hate Clare's mom, I met her once a few months ago right after Clare's breakup with Eli. Clare's told me plenty of stories though and I've wanted to throttle her mom for a while now.

"Yeah and if her mom kicks her out then she'll move in here." Dallas says.

"Hold it why would she move in here?!" I question narrowing my eyes at Dallas.

"She's carrying my kid that's why! And her best friend lives here!" Dallas growls back narrowing his eyes at me.

"That baby she's carrying could be mine we don't know yet and you don't have room for her in this house!" I growl at him.

"Well I'm not letting her move in with you!" He barks back at me.

"GUYS!" Drew yells at us both but we ignore him.

"Like I'm going to let her move in here to sleep in a basement with you!" I holler back at Dallas.

Dallas opens his mouth but my fist is clenched and I explode a punch on Dallas' jaw!

"Dude!" Adam exclaims.

"Owen what the fuck!" Drew exclaims.

Dallas recovers quickly and just as I'm ready to punch him again he gets my eye! I grab his jacket and get him on the floor, he wheezes as I knock the wind out of him!

"GUYS KNOCK IT OFF!" Drew yells.

It distracts me and I look over at Drew letting Dallas hit me in the jaw and gets the upper hand getting me on the floor on my back! We both curl our fists and pull back to punch each other again…

**Oh those boys! Update next Monday picking up right here and Clare finding out they were fighting and possibly Miles throwing a few punches of his own.**

**Shout out to tomfeltonlover1991 for suggesting Owen catch Miles and Maya making out. **


	7. Where I Go When I Go There

**Ch. 7 ****Where I Go When I Go There**

**(ADAM)**

Owen and Dallas are rolling around on the floor trying to kill each other over who Clare will move in with. My brother is yelling at them trying to get them to stop but of course that's not working. Dallas is on top of Owen currently and they both punch each other in the face again. Drew tries pull Dallas off of Owen but gets knocked down for his trouble. Owen gets the upper hand once more after punching Dallas in the gut with both fists. If this doesn't stop soon they are going to kill each other and possibly Drew in the process. I know how to get them to stop but it isn't going to be pretty. I pull out my phone opening the video chat app and calling Clare. Her face appears and she's smiling brighter than I've seen her smile in weeks, London must be good for her.

"Hi Adam," she says and then furrows her brow probably at the sounds in the background.

"Hey, can you tell these two blockheads to stop," I request, then turn the phone so she can see both the potential fathers of her child trying to kill each other.

"Owen! Dallas! Stop it both of you!" Her voice admonishes through the phone.

Just as I knew it would hearing her makes them stop. They both freeze and look at the phone; each has a look of shame on their face.

"Clare…" they both say but she cuts them off.

"Don't! What are you two doing? You're supposed to be friends! Now look at the two of you! You've got black eyes and contusions what were you even fight about?!" She questions. They both open their mouths to tell her but she talks again before they can. "Never mind I don't want to know and this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you!"

She hangs up, Dallas and Owen let go of each other, each looking very ashamed and stand up.

"Why'd you call her?" Owen gripes rubbing his jaw.

"Because you two were acting like idiots and trying to kill each other. Congratulations you just proved all of Clare's fears right because you couldn't agree on who she would move in with! Something that hasn't even happened yet and it will be her choice who she lives with not yours. Either you two pull it together and stop trying to kill each other and make decisions for her or she may never talk to either of you again." I inform them.

"He has a point," Owen says to Dallas.

"Yeah sorry, guess it is up to her who she moves in with." Dallas nods.

"Sorry for knocking you down Drew," Owen apologizes.

"Are you guys gonna stop fighting. We told you that you need to work together and be there for Clare. No more fights, Adam is right you can't make the decisions for Clare it's up to her." Drew scolds them.

"Yeah we know, no more fights, we're cool right?" Dallas asks holding his hand out to Owen.

"Yeah we're cool," Owen says shaking Dallas' hand.

"Good now go get some ice for your bruises," I tell them.

They go upstairs while Drew and I fall back on the sofa.

"I know they're the dad's or one of them is the dad anyway and they deserve to know that she's pregnant but…"

"For right now she's probably better off a few thousand miles away and not talking to them." Drew finishes for me.

"Yeah, these fears Clare has are unfounded for the most part but not all of them." I remark as the daddy duo comes back downstairs.

They each have about three ice packs and lie on separate ends of the sofa putting the ice on various bruises. Drew turns on the TV and eventually the daddy duo sits up. They take off the ice and Dallas gets his laptop so they can look up stuff about pregnancies and pregnant women. Drew and I start playing video games until his laptop starts ringing and he answers.

"Hey B," Drew smiles upon seeing his fiancé's face.

"Hi, it's good to see that face; I'm sort of regretting summer enrollment. Hi Adam," she says looking at me.

"Hey Bianca," I greet.

"Hey B," Owen and Dallas say together and Bianca pinches her eyebrows together.

Drew turns the laptop so she can see Owen and Dallas.

"What happened to you two?" Bianca questions and Drew turns the laptop back to face him.

"They tried to kill each other over Clare," Drew explains.

"Oh yeah I had a feeling that might be coming, does Clare know? Isn't she in Paris?" Bianca asks.

"Yeah, she's not talking to them right now. But they weren't fighting over who would date her; they were fighting over who she would live with." I tell her.

"Come again?" Bianca questions.

"Clare had sex with Dallas on prom night and Owen at Fiona's grad party and now she's pregnant but doesn't know which one is the father." Drew enlightens her.

"Shit Clare's pregnant?! And one of you two idiots got her pregnant?!" Bianca exclaims.

"Yep and she's in London right now with Mia, she needed to get away for a bit, from Paris and all of it I guess. We only found out she was pregnant a few days ago." I tell her.

"Fuck I can't believe Clare's pregnant." Bianca shakes her head.

"Drew maybe you should take your laptop upstairs so you can talk to Bianca in privacy." I suggest.

"Huh? Oh yeah," Drew grins and grabs his laptop running upstairs.

I switch off the video game and watch TV; Owen and Dallas are watching and researching. Drew comes back downstairs after another hour, grinning widely because he was talking with Bianca. Owen stays all day, even having dinner with us. We tell Mom that they got in a fight with two other people so we don't have to explain that Clare is pregnant yet. After dinner we all go back to the basement to watch TV, a little after eight my phone rings, which makes it a little after 2am for her.

"Hey Clare," I answer as I get up to walk upstairs, knowing that hearing Owen and Dallas might upset her.

"Hi Adam," she says but sounds like she's been crying.

"What's wrong?" I question walking into my room and closing the door.

"I had another nightmare; I just needed to talk to someone. Everyone's asleep here and I just couldn't call Owen or Dallas." She tells me.

"Do you remember what this nightmare was about?" I query.

"They're always the same, I mean they're always different but they're always about the same thing. I lose the baby somehow, I miscarry not give it up and sometimes I die too. I'm going to give the baby up for adoption but I'm having the worst nightmares about miscarrying. In all kinds of different ways, it shouldn't bother me so much but I always wake up terrified and…" her sentence drifts off as it sounds like she's crying again.

"Clare you're dreaming about your baby dying, giving it up for adoption is very different than losing it to a miscarriage. Of course you wake up terrified, especially if you're dying in some of these dreams. You want to talk about your nightmare you had tonight?" I prod.

"It was similar to the one I had last night," she tells me.

"I thought you couldn't remember the one last night?" I ask her.

"I did, I just didn't want to talk about it," she admits.

"Okay so this nightmare tonight?" I prod.

"I get raped by…this guy and somehow it ends this pregnancy and I get pregnant with his baby. Then I'm forced to marry him but I die in child birth." She tells me.

"That's seriously morbid Clare, and I doubt that's normal. I really don't think you should be having nightmares about miscarrying every night, or getting raped and dying in child birth. Have you talked to Mia about these nightmares?" I inquire.

"No," she simply says.

"I think you should, are you going to be okay?" I question.

"Yeah I think so; I'll watch TV until I fall asleep again. How badly did the guys get each other?" She queries.

"The daddy duo is fine, they each have a black eye and a few bruises but they're getting along again." I tell her.

"Daddy duo?" She laughs. "I guess that's better than big daddy's like Maya calls them. I'm probably going to regret asking this but why were they even fighting?" She questions.

"They were fighting about who you would move in with when your mom kicks you out." I tell her.

"You mean they were arguing over who I would get pawned off on when my mom flips out because I'm pregnant! Forget it I'm never coming home, I'm moving to London and I don't have to be a burden on either of them." She sighs.

"Clare you have it all wrong, Dallas wants you to move in here and Owen wants you to move in with him." I correct her.

"Ugh that's just another problem. I have feelings for them Adam, both of them! That's why it was so easy to sleep with them both. This whole thing is just a mess." She sighs sounding more upset than before. I search for something to say that will make her feel better but she speaks first. "I should go and try to get some sleep." She says slowly.

"Okay, talk to Mia and when are you going to talk to the daddy duo?" I ask and she laughs at the name again.

"I don't know Adam; I don't really want to do it over the phone or laptop, and I'm still not ready. I'll talk to Mia about the nightmares tomorrow, bye Adam." She says.

I tell her goodbye and hang up then go back downstairs; they all look over at me.

"Is she okay?" Owen questions.

"She had a nightmare; she's been having a lot of them." I blurt out because I think they should know.

"Nightmares about what?" Dallas inquires.

"About losing the baby in a miscarriage, sometimes she dies in the nightmare. In the one she had tonight she was raped and got pregnant with his baby losing the one she's carrying now." I inform them.

"That doesn't sound good, is that normal?" Drew asks.

"I doubt it, I told her to talk to Mia about it." I reply.

"So she's having nightmares about miscarrying a baby she doesn't even want to keep?" Drew queries.

"Yeah and getting raped, and dying none of it sounds good, or normal to me. She promised to talk to Mia about it tomorrow. I told her why you two were fighting but I'm not sure it was comforting to her." I inform them.

"Awesome," Owen sighs sinking back into the sofa.

"Yeah," Dallas sighs also sinking back into the sofa.

**(MAYA)**

"You think you and Chewy can find something to do tomorrow night, something that will keep you out of your room for a couple of hours?" I ask Tris while we wait for Miles and Winston to bring us napkins.

It was Thursday afternoon and the four of us had stopped to get crepes for lunch. After Owen had missed his call yesterday the four of us did other things, but he ended up calling anyway. Miles and I were a little busy and didn't hear him call, and Tris decided to show Owen what we were up too and we got lectured. So as far as I was concerned Tris owed me.

"And just why would you need a room to yourself?" Tris questions arching his eyebrows.

"Because I want to go farther with Miles than making out and I don't want to be interrupted by older brothers calling." I tell him.

Tris gives me a look somewhere between scolding, curious and amused just as our boyfriends return to the table.

"Tomorrow night is Friday that means later curfew and less school work we should go out." Tris says to Winston.

"Sure sounds good," Winston smiles and they share a quick kiss.

"Aww you two are too cute, so you want to go out tomorrow night?" Miles asks me as we start eating.

"Actually I was thinking we'd stay in," I reply and Miles gets a sinful grin across his lips.

"Have you heard from Clare?" Miles asks after a few minutes.

"Not since that picture she texted of her at the hotel, I think she just needs some time off. If she hasn't called by tonight we'll call her," I reply.

After lunch we go to Palias Bourbon, which sounds like a castle where they make bourbon but is actually where the French Parliament meets. It was our assignment for the day and a few other kids from class were there as well. After touring the building and interviewing a staff member we all had enough for our reports and returned to the house to write our report which we had to present tomorrow. We were all presenting together so it should be easy enough. It took us a couple of hours and then we went down to eat dinner in the dining room before going out again. Jenna and Connor were also in the dining room so we ate with them.

"Anyone hear from Clare?" Jenna asks as we're leaving the dining room to go out.

"Not since her picture message let's call her," I remark pulling out my phone and calling Clare, I put it on speaker so they can all hear.

"Hey," Clare answers and she sounds very happy, also somewhere busy.

"Where are you?" I question.

"Out with Mia, I'm alive and fine." She tells us.

"How do you feel?" Tris asks.

"Great better than I have in a long time. I absolutely love London I may never leave. Ooh I gotta go call you guys later. Thanks for checking on me." She says.

We say goodbye just before we hear dial tone, I hang up and we all exchange a look.

"She didn't really mean that did she?" I query out loud.

"She sounded like it, I haven't heard her that happy since…" Jenna pauses to think a minute, "since she got back together with Eli the last time."

"If she never returns from London I guarantee my brother will fly out here and drag her back." Tris speaks up.

"And I'll bet Dallas will fly out with him," Jenna remarks.

Connor looks confused but doesn't ask and I decide we shouldn't worry about Clare moving to London at the moment.

"Let's not worry about it now, she's happy and that's good. What should we do tonight?" I question everybody.

"There's a few clubs we can get into," Miles speaks up.

"That sounds fun I want to go dancing," Jenna says.

"But I don't know how to dance," Connor complains.

"Oh it's easy I'll show you. We'll follow you Miles, you know the way." Jenna smiles linking her arm with Connor's.

The six of us walk a few blocks to a club filled with other teenagers. Tris and Winston spend most of the time dancing. Miles and I dance a few songs but we spend most of the time cuddled in the booth or making out. We slip into the house just a few minutes before bed check and we all run to our rooms. Madam must have checked the boy's wing first because Jenna and I were in bed by the time she got to us. I had another wonderful dream about me and Miles that night. I woke up very happy on Friday morning and very much looking forward to my date with Miles tonight. As soon as Miles and I were done with breakfast we went to his room to make out until it was time for class. Class seemed to whiz by because I spent the whole time holding hands with Miles and gazing at him. Yeah I know I've fallen hard but I'm so happy I don't care.

After class the four of us got our assignment out of the way and then did some exploring. We let Miles lead the way since he's been here before. We got some lunch, did some shopping and took a stroll along the Seine. Clare didn't call again today, but she did post a lot of pictures of herself in various spots around Liverpool on facerange, so we know she's alive. We also know she's very happy because she has a great big smile in each one. I figured it was better just to give her the space, and hoped the guys had the good sense to do the same. One person that wasn't giving Clare any space on the other hand was Dorian; he was waiting on the steps to the house when we got back.

"Where is Clare, she's not returning my calls?" Dorian asks.

"She's in London; she won't be back for a few days." I tell him.

"Where in London is she staying?" Dorian questions.

"I told you he was a stalker," Tris says under his breath.

"We don't know and even if we did we wouldn't tell you!" Miles snarls at him.

"Then I'll find out for myself," Dorian replies.

He starts to go down the steps; Miles pulls his fist back and punches Dorian in the jaw! Dorian stumbles back falling back on his butt, Miles bends down grabbing Dorian by the shirt.

"You stay away from Clare, she's taken very very taken, like practically married taken and you're a crazy French guy! Stay away from her, stay from us, don't come to this house again and don't come looking for Clare again." Miles warns him then he comes to me, putting his arm around my waist and we walk inside followed by Tris and Winston.

When we're inside I turn to Miles and give him a kiss, lingering in the kiss for a minute.

"My hero and Clare's, I can't wait to tell Owen and Dallas you did that!" I smile.

"Yeah that guy's a creep, if he comes back here I'm telling Owen, Clare should not be around that guy. Come on let's go eat," Tris says walking past us to get to the dining room.

The four of us walk to the dining room and grab some dinner talking about how Dorian gives us the creeps. After dinner we all go up to the boy's room because Tris wants to change before his date.

"We'll be back ten minutes before bed check." Tris says before he and Winston leave the room for their night out.

"Have fun we'll see you right before eleven." I reply pushing them out of the room.

When they're gone I shut the door, lock it and look at Miles with a salacious grin on my face. I kick off my shoes and saunter over to him, my hands go to his shoulders and I take his lips. His hands encircle my waist as his lips part and his tongue slides out. I grip his shirt and pull it off over his head, dropping it to the floor before we climb up to his bunk. He kicks his shoes to the floor and pulls my shirt off before taking off my bra. It drops to the floor near his shoes as I push him down on the bed and sit on him.

His hands rove up my sides then around to my breasts. He squeezes gently and an involuntary moan comes from my lips. I giggle and bend down to kiss him, his lips part for me and my tongue juts in. We kiss for a minute then he turns so that I'm on bottom and he lies next to me propped up on one arm. His lips attach to mine again and his other hand grazes down my belly. Then his hand goes between my legs and moves my skirt up a little. I want him to touch me and grip the back of his neck.

His fingers maneuver under my panties and I pull in a breath as one of his fingers goes inside. I moan, his finger moving in a little farther and I break from the kiss to breathe. Miles sits up to pull off my panties and spreads my legs open so he can get between them. His finger goes in again, thrusting in and out a few times and then he adds a second finger. I moan loudly, my body moving like it has a mind of its own. I grip his shoulders tightly as my head lulls back into the pillow. His fingers thrust faster and faster, he starts kissing my stomach and I tremble as I'm filled with overwhelming pleasure.

My back arches and I cover my mouth to muffle the scream so that no one else can hear me as I cum. Miles slows down his fingers and then pulls them out making my body lurch. I'm still shaking and breathing hard but he moves up to kiss me softly. After several minutes my breathing slows down and my body stops moving. I pull away from the kiss and smile at him, that was the most amazing feeling and now I decide that it's his turn. I roll on my side maneuvering until he's on his back, I kiss his lips quickly and then his chest, then his belly. When I reach his jeans I open the fly and get them down, then his boxers pulling them down to his knees.

He's hard and his erection springs free standing at attention. I smile upon seeing it, my fingers curling around the base and my mouth circles around the head. My hand begins pumping as my mouth moves along his erection. Miles moans and his back arches, he has a salty sweet taste, my tongue swirls around and he moans again. He begins moving his hips and it spurs me on to go faster and faster. His hand tunnels into my hair to keep me in place, his fingers gripping into my hair. My eyes look up to see him looking at me, biting the inside of his cheek to muffle his moaning.

"Mmm Maya oh god," he breathes as he ejaculates and my mouth fills with thick, hot, salty goo.

Quite honestly I almost spit it out but that wouldn't have been very sexy so I swallowed it. While Miles is panting and trying to recover I get down and go into the washroom to rinse my mouth. When I climb back to the top bunk he pulls me to him for a kiss, soft and passionate and tender. I melt into the kiss, my heart pounding and my skin tingling at his touch.

"I love you Maya," Miles says.

"I love you too Miles," I grin and then our lips connect again for another passionate kiss.

**(OWEN)**

"Hey what time is it?" I ask.

"Almost three why?" Adam questions back.

"I'm video chatting with my brother and Maya at three is why." I respond.

"Don't you have anything better to do on this Saturday afternoon, in July than video chat with your kid brother and his friend?" Drew snickers.

"Dude shut up, it's Saturday afternoon and the four of us are sitting in your basement. Only we're not playing video games or something, we're learning more than we ever wanted to know about pregnancy and adoption." I sigh tossing the book I was reading on the table.

"Yeah but you're doing it so that when Clare gets back, and is hopefully talking to you two again, you guys will know what to do and prove that you will be there for her." Adam reminds us.

"Yeah so why are you two helping?" I ask Adam and Drew.

"She's my best friend I have to make sure you two are taking care of her." Adam shrugs.

"I wanna make sure you two don't screw up, I need my VP this year." Drew remarks.

"Great so we're learning all this stuff about how to take care of her and everything, and she's determined to give the baby up for adoption!" Dallas gripes chucking his book behind him.

"Yeah the book I was just reading said the mom will bond with the baby before it's even born. And if she's not 100% sure about giving the baby up then she can become severely depressed. I just read a whole chapter about how to help her cope with the anxiety and keep her from self destructing. I don't want her to get depressed, I don't want her to self destruct and I really don't want her to give the baby up." I confess.

"Neither do I, I mean that baby is mine…" Dallas says and I shoot him a look so he corrects himself. "Could be mine and I don't want to give it up."

"Good and if Clare ever talks to you guys again you can tell her that." Drew remarks from behind us as he puts a hand on each of our shoulders.

"Right now it's three and you're supposed to call your brother." Adam says handing my laptop to me.

I put the laptop on the coffee table, start the video chat program and click on my brother's contact. It rings a couple of times and then Tris' face appears on screen, he's sitting on a bed with Winston on one side of him and Miles on the other, Maya is on Miles' lap.

"Owen what happened?!" Maya exclaims.

I presume she means the black eye I'm sporting and the bruises on my face. Most of the time I forget that they're there; most of them have healed pretty well in the last few days.

"You should see the other guy he looks worse than me." I smirk.

"I do not!" Dallas quips back and then moves over so he can see the computer screen. "Hey kids," he smiles.

"You two were fighting?! Each other?!" Tris questions.

"They got into an argument over who Clare would move in with when her mom kicks her out. And it quickly turned into all out fighting." Adam chimes in from the other side of me.

"You guys were fighting about it so badly you beat each other up?!" Maya exclaims in a scolding tone.

"How do you know her mom will kick her out?" Winston asks.

"If her mom finds out she's pregnant Clare will get kicked out, her mom's a bitch." Adam says.

"Me and Dallas made up, we haven't fought since." I tell them.

"Does Clare know you two morons were fighting?" Tris inquires.

"Yeah because I had to call her so she would yell at them to stop." Adam tells them.

"Yeah she was pissed," Drew laughs and I smack him upside the head.

"Speaking of Clare, Dorian came looking for her today," Maya speaks up.

Upon hearing this Dallas and I both growl and my fists clench.

"That French guy she went out with?" Drew asks.

"She did not go out with him!" Dallas and I assert at the same time.

"Yeah that one, Tris thinks he's a stalker and I think he's right. That guy's creepy he was waiting outside when we got back to the house. He demanded to know when Clare was coming back and got all bent out of shape that she hadn't called him back." Maya tells us.

"Good I don't want her to call him back, she shouldn't be anywhere near that jerk." I growl.

"Miles punched him," Maya gloats for her boyfriend, "right in the jaw!"

"I also told him she was very taken, never to come back and to never get near Clare again." Miles adds.

"Thanks Miles, don't want that creep anywhere near Clare or any of you really. If he comes back you tell us, I'll fly out there myself and kill him." I state.

"How are you going to fly to Paris?" Adam balks.

"If that creep gets near Clare again I'll find a way." I affirm with clenched teeth.

"Yeah me too," Dallas agrees.

"You guys can't fly to Paris every time some guy hits on Clare." Drew argues.

"Yes we can," we disagree.

"Miles if this Dorian comes around again can you handle him and keep Clare safe?" Adam questions.

"Yeah no problem," Miles nods.

"There you go problem solved, you two don't need to spend a ton of money on tickets to Paris, Clare's in good hands." Adam says.

"Yeah well we'd know that if she'd talk to us," Dallas grumbles.

"So what about the rest of you? Anything happen since we talked on Wednesday?" I ask Tris and the others.

"Just school and exploring Paris, we had romantic dates last night." Tris informs me.

"How romantic?" I inquire with a tight jaw.

"Well Winston and me went for coffee, then to the top of the Eiffel tower, and then we sat in the park talking for hours." Tris replies.

"And you two?" I question looking at Miles and Maya.

"We talked and went for a moonlit walk and got dessert." Maya answers a little too quickly for my taste.

"You two are fifteen, if I find out you were doing anything besides kissing I will fly over there and kill you both and then I'll go kill Dorian." I inform them.

"Owen!" Maya glowers at me.

"Hey your family may not care what you do or what trouble you get into but I do." I respond.

We talk for another twenty minutes and then got off, it's Saturday night and they want to go have fun in Paris. After reminding all four of them that all their clothes better stay on, we hang up and I close my laptop. Drew turns on the TV and I go upstairs with Adam to get snacks.

"You really want the baby?" Adam asks.

"I don't want to give my kid up for some other couple to raise. I know it ain't gonna be easy and I won't be able to party or enjoy my freshman year like I thought. I know it will be a lot of work but it will be worth it you know. I mean that kid is a piece of me." I respond.

"Well good, I'm glad to hear it because I think Clare should keep the baby. But you realize it might not be your baby." Adam reminds me.

"Yeah I know that, there's just as much chance of it being Dallas' kid as mine. It doesn't matter; I'm not going to abandon Clare no matter whose baby it is. I'll be there for her through the pregnancy and after the baby is born, even if she does give it up. Hopefully we can convince her not to but if she's determined I doubt we can stop her. I know she's your best friend but I know Clare too and giving up the baby will be hard on her, she's gonna take it hard and I'm going to be there for her." I inform Adam.

"Good I had a similar conversation with Dallas last night. He said the same things, so you both feel the same way about everything. I think it's why you guys fight so much, you're a lot alike and you both feel the same way about Clare and the baby. I guess I can see how she could have feelings for both of you." Adam says grabbing some sodas and chips, he starts to go back down stairs but I stop him.

"Wait she has feelings for us?" I ask him.

"Yeah she told me the other night. She's been calling me you know, every night after these nightmares she has." Adam informs me.

"She's still having those nightmares?" I question.

"Every night, she usually calls about eight, maybe tonight you and Dallas ought to answer my phone." Adam suggests.

"Yeah we should," I nod.

We go downstairs with the snacks and sodas, watching TV and playing video games. Audra and Omar are out tonight so we order pizza for dinner. Just before ten Adam leaves us his phone then goes upstairs with Drew. We keep watching TV until the phone rings a little before 8:30 and the display says it's Clare. I look at Dallas and then answer putting it on speaker.

"This was the worst one yet, you sure you want to hear about it Adam?" Her tired but pain filled voice asks.

All I want to do is hold her but she's not here for me to hold, the pain in her voice breaks my heart and seeing Dallas' face I can tell he feels the same.

"Adam's upstairs but me and Dallas want to hear about it." I tell her.

"Why do you have Adam's phone?!" She demands, her voice is between angry and relieved.

"He knew you would call, he wanted us to talk to you." I respond.

"I don't want to talk to you, either of you. I'm not ready when I'm ready I'll tell you." She says and I know she's about to hang up, so does Dallas.

"Clare wait," we both plead quickly.

There's a pause on the other end of the line and we wait, either we're about to hear her soft voice or dial tone…

**Update next Monday starting from right here.**


	8. Trust My Own True Mind

**Ch. 8 Trust****My Own True Mind**

**(CLARE)**

"Clare wait," Owen and Dallas both plead from the other end of the line.

I bite my lip, squeezing it in my teeth as I debate whether or not to hang up. I really am not ready to talk to them but I guess I owe them something.

"You have five minutes," I inform them quietly.

"Okay but video chat so we can see you, please?" Owen begs.

"Fine I'll call you back in a second," I give in and hang up.

If I didn't have feelings for the both of them, and want nothing more than for them to hold me right now, I wouldn't call back. I find the video chat button on my phone and click on Adam's user name. They answer right away, both of their faces trying to squish into the screen. The first thing I notice though is the healing bruises courtesy of their idiotic fight the other day!

"You guys! Look at your faces, why would you try and kill each other of who I'll live with?" I question in a sorrowful yet guilty tone because they should never had had a reason to fight like that in the first place.

"We fought about it because we both really care about you Clare." Owen tells me.

"That baby you're carrying belongs to one of us and we want to know that you're safe and taken care of." Dallas adds.

"_Damn it why do they have to be so caring and understating? So sweet but protective? It's part of why I fell for both of them to begin with! Can't they just hate me; I swear it would make things easier…maybe…ugh I hate this! I want them here and holding me and I don't want to lose either of them." _I complain silently while rolling my lower lip between my teeth and they watch me so I sigh and speak finally.

"I'm fine and your baby is only 7 weeks, it's about the size of a grape." I tell them.

"We know, we calculated backwards with some help from Adam. The baby will get hands and feet this week." Owen says.

I'm actually impressed that they did research although I'm sure Drew and Adam prodded them into it.

"And you're obviously not fine if you're having nightmare's every night about miscarrying the baby." Dallas points out.

"Mia said it was just anxiety, early pregnancy jitters and it'll probably pass." I reply.

"Maybe if you'd stop avoiding us you wouldn't be so anxious." Dallas shoots back and I glower at him.

"Tell us about the nightmare," Owen prods but when I remain silent and chew on my lip he knows I'm considering hanging up, they know me to well. "Please Clare let us help. The more you shut us out the more flying to Paris to be with you sounds like a good idea." Owen beseeches.

I'm sure he isn't kidding and I'm sure that neither of them can afford a last minute trip to Paris. As much as I'd like to have them here to hold me it would probably drive me crazy too.

"In the dream Dorian raped me and it killed the baby I'm carrying now, I was bleeding and he was angry. Then I'm very pregnant like about to give birth but the baby is his and I'm with him. The baby is still born and he thinks I killed the baby so he kills me." I confess to them and they are silent and staring at me. "I told you it was bad," I remind them.

"HE RAPED YOU?!" Both the guys yell suddenly making me jump.

"Okay that's it we're coming out there!" Owen says as his voice growls.

"You guys it was a dream I haven't seen Dorian since I left Paris," I remind them as I hear running footsteps coming down the stairs and I know the Torres brothers are about to appear.

"What's going on?" Drew questions.

"Did I just hear you guys yell about her being raped?" Adam questions.

"It was nightmare Adam," I inform him so they all calm down.

"Another one of those?" He asks leaning on Dallas and Owen to peer into the phone.

"Worse than last night," I tell him.

"What was your dream last night?" Dallas inquires.

"Another nightmare and your five minutes are up," I point out.

"Clare if you hang up on us we will be on the next plane out there," Owen says and I know that with him it's not just an empty threat.

"Talk to them Clare, if we tell Mom she'll buy them tickets or she'll bring you home." Adam says.

Also not an empty threat, if Audra found out I was pregnant and Dallas or Owen could be the father then she'd bring me home. Doesn't matter that she's not my legal guardian she'd find a way.

"Fine I'll talk but no more yelling," I stipulate.

"They'll be good, right?" Drew questions them in a hard commanding tone.

"No more yelling we promise," Owen says and Dallas nods.

"Are you're nightmares always like that?" Dallas questions after Adam and Drew have gone upstairs.

"They aren't always that bad but I always lose the baby somehow, usually miscarriage but I've had a couple where my mom takes the baby after it's born and I want to keep the baby. Then she sends me far away, which with my mother may actually happen." I tell them.

"You're mom isn't touching my kid and she isn't sending you away." Owen states firmly.

"Or mine and she'll have to kill me before I let her send you away." Dallas affirms.

"Guys you realize I intend to give the baby up for adoption," I remind them ignoring the stuff about my mom sending me away.

"Yeah we know Maya and Tris told me," Owen grumbles.

"I can't raise a baby alone an…" I start when they both cut me off.

"You won't be alone," Owen speaks up.

"You have us," Dallas adds talking over Owen and it takes me a second to separate what they said in my head.

"You guys aren't ready to raise a kid; it would mean sleepless nights and not going out as much or at all. You'd have to get jobs, babies are expensive and you couldn't go on dates or…"

"Who said we want to go out on dates?" Owen questions cutting me off.

"Yeah," Dallas nods and I twist my face at them because I'm sure they're lying. "You can move in here and stay in the basement with me; it's kind of like an apartment. You h…"

"She's not moving in with you!" Owen exclaims interrupting Dallas this time. "There's just as much chance that she's carrying my kid as yours and I'm not letting her…"

"STOP IT!" I snap at them in a shrill and slightly agonized voice. They both stop and look at me. "How are either of you going to raise a kid or even help me through a pregnancy if you're both about as mature as five year olds yourself. You shouldn't even know that I'm pregnant! No one should! If Maya hadn't seen that damn pregnancy test no one would know anything! I knew telling you was a mistake! I knew talking to you was a mistake! I can't do this, I need time and if you don't stop fighting about who I'm going to live with then I'm never leaving London!"

After my lecture I hang up and turn off my phone. I know they mean well, and I suppose the two of them arguing so passionately because each of them wants me to live with them is a good thing. I mean it's better than them hating me and denying that I'm pregnant with their kid. In fact they're both certain it is their kid or they keep reminding the other that they each have a 50/50 chance of being the dad. I'm not sure that talking to them made me feel any better though, I don't just mean because they were fighting again. Knowing that they both want to keep the baby actually makes my decision harder not easier. I had sequestered myself in the washroom to call Adam so I wouldn't wake Mia or anyone but now I left the washroom for the living room again. Instead of going to my bed that was the pull out sofa I sit at the dining room table and turn on my laptop. I already have an e-mail from each of the guys but I ignore them and E-mail Adam, copying Drew.

**Make sure they don't kill each other please. And if they keep arguing over who I'm going to live with when Mom kicks me out tell them I'm moving in with Jay.**

It isn't until after I send the e-mail that I realize I don't think Adam knows who Jay is. However Owen will know Jay by reputation at the very least and it should stop them from fighting about it, I hope. Just as I'm shutting down the laptop I hear a voice behind me.

"Clare? What are you doing up?" Mia asks with a yawn.

"Sorry did I wake you?" I apologize.

"No I got up to use the washroom, did you have another nightmare?" She asks.

"Yeah," I nod.

"Hang on I have to use the washroom but I'll be right out." Mia says and goes into the washroom. I sit on my bed and Mia joins me when she gets out. "You want to talk about the nightmare?" She asks pulling the blanket over us.

"No I called Adam to talk to him about the nightmare but he knew I would call and gave his phone to Owen and Dallas. I almost hung up but they begged them to talk to them and I gave in. I even agreed to do it on video chat, remember I told you they got in a fight the other day?" I ask and she nods. "Well they were both still bruised and that was upsetting but I talked to them a little. A part of me hoped it would make me feel better and it kind of did but not for long. It's so much harder having them at home and me here because they can't hold me or show me that they're in this with me. They've been doing research on their own but I'm certain Adam or Drew pushed them into it. They argued again about whom I would live with, I really can't live with either of them, it wouldn't be fair. They also want me to keep the baby, both of them, they were adamant about it but I have my doubts about how serious they are and it only makes all of this harder on me. I was already having a terrible time making a decision and this just makes it worse. I know what the reality is, I know how hard it will be to have and raise a baby especially at my age but there's also a part of me that does want to keep the baby. A small part but it's getting bigger. I know I wouldn't be having nightmares the way I am about miscarrying or losing the baby if I was a hundred percent certain about giving the baby up."

Mia puts her arm around me and I lay my head on her shoulder. "What did Owen and Dallas say about after the baby is born?" Mia asks.

"They didn't say much of anything, they started arguing about who I would live with so I lectured them and hung up." I tell her.

"You want me to send Lucas over to knock their heads together?" She offers.

This thought actually makes me smile, not that I want the guys to get hurt again but sending Lucas over there isn't a bad idea. He wasn't exactly there for Mia but he would be a good person for them to talk to and it's not like I can send K.C. over there to talk to them. He could call them from Vancouver but telling K.C. I'm pregnant, and I haven't the faintest idea which one of them is the father, is not something I want to do.

"Yes," I reply.

Mia looks at the clock, it's a little before 3:30 in the morning here so it's a little before 9:30 at night back home. Mia gets up going into her room and comes out again with her phone. She sits in the bed next to me again and sends a text to Lucas.

**Mia: Izzy's fine but I need a favor.**

It takes a few minutes but he finally replies.

**Lucas: At 3:30 in the morning?**

She clicks call and puts the phone on speaker so I can hear.

"Actually I need you to do something for me in Toronto," Mia clarifies.

"Okay what?" He inquires.

"You remember Darcy Edwards?" Mia asks.

"Yeah sure," he says.

"Remember she had a little sister Clare?" Mia questions.

"Yeah Backwoods Bhandari's friend right? Glasses and a uniform, she dated K.C. for a while and Spinner and Jay kind a looked out for her." Lucas says.

"Yeah well she's here with me and the favor is for her," Mia tells him.

"Hi Lucas," I say nervously, from the few experiences I had with Lucas he was worse than Jay but he has grown up since I last saw him.

"Okay what's up?" Lucas inquires with clear puzzlement in his voice, I'm sure he still sees me as that brainy 14 year old.

"She's pregnant an…" is as far as Mia gets before she's cut off.

"HOLY CRAP WHO DEFLOWERD ST. CLARE?!" Lucas exclaims.

I always hated that nickname and I hate being reminded of it, I never felt nearly as saintly as people made me out to be.

"Mike Dallas, he's on the Ice Hounds." I enlighten the older boy.

"No way you let a hockey player get in your pants?" Lucas snickers.

"God Lucas watch your mouth!" Mia snaps at him.

"Two actually, remember Owen Milligan?" I ask although I'm sure he does.

"Yeah of course he was good buddies with Fitz for a while. He used to hang out at the rav…wait you had sex with Owen too?! Shit when did you drop the saint act and why wasn't I told?" Lucas teases.

"Lucas!" Mia admonishes but I laugh.

"I'm joking chill, so wait which one is the dad?" Lucas queries.

"I'm not sure," I admit.

"How are you not sure?" He questions.

"Because I had unprotected sex with both of them within a 24 hour period and either one could be the dad." I reply.

"Okay so you want me to go beat the crap out of both of them or something?" Lucas asks.

"No not exactly, they aren't denying that the kid is there's, in fact they're both insisting it is there's. They're arguing about who Clare will live with when her mom kicks her out and making things harder on Clare. She's not sure if she wants to keep the baby and the guys arguing isn't helping. All I want you to do is knock some sense into them and talk to them. Don't hurt them she loves them both," Mia tells him.

"Okay so where do I find them?" Lucas inquires.

"Dallas lives with my best friend Adam and Owen is usually over there. 2455 Tiverton but don't go over there now Adam's parents are probably home and tomorrow afternoon is good Audra and Omar always go to brunch on Sunday's and don't usually get home until dinner." I tell him.

"Okay I'll go over tomorrow afternoon; geez can't believe you're pregnant! Who else knows?" Lucas asks.

"Besides you and Mia, Owen, Dallas, Drew, Adam, Maya, Jenna, Tristan, Winston and Miles," I reply.

"I don't know any of those people, what about your parents?" He asks.

"My mom will lose it and I don't talk to my dad much." I respond.

"What about Spinner, Jay and Peter? Or your sister?" Lucas asks.

"I talk to Darcy maybe twice a year; I'm just not going to tell my stepbrother and as for Jay, Spinner and Peter they don't need to know." I tell him.

"Just knock some sense into the guys, I know you weren't exactly around when Izzy was a baby but I'm sure you remember your mom babysitting and Jane." Mia says.

"Yeah and I can tell them how much I regret that; not being around when Izzy was a baby," Lucas says in a remorseful tone. "I'll take care of it and call you tomorrow and Clare when you get back from Paris I need to see you." He tells me.

"Sure, thanks Lucas," I reply.

Mia says goodbye and hangs up then looks at me. "It's our last full day in London today you think you can get back to sleep?" She questions since I don't always get back to sleep after a nightmare.

"I can try, I'll watch TV for a bit," I reply.

"You want me to stay with you?" She offers.

"No you get to sleep I'll be okay thanks Mia," I smile.

"Mom's watching Izzy tonight so we can go out so get that beauty sleep," she says then she hugs me and goes back to her room.

I switch on the TV and do my best not to think about anything at all so I can get back to sleep.

**(OWEN)**

After Clare threatens to never come home she hangs up on us and I exchange a guilty look with Dallas. We didn't mean to start arguing again it just sort of happened. We only argue because we both care, about her and the baby.

"Well that went well," Dallas remarks leaning against the back of the sofa.

I try calling her back but her phone is off. "I think we just went back a step I don't think she's talking to us again." I tell him putting down Adam's phone.

"Yeah we're in the doghouse again; she might just stay mad at us forever." Dallas sighs getting out his phone and sending a quick e-mail to her that says he's sorry, I do the same.

"Given how stubborn she can be she may actually not talk to us until she gets back and she's forced to." I respond.

A minute later Adam's phone beeps and says he has a new e-mail from Clare. A few seconds after that Drew and Adam come back to the basement and Drew has his phone out.

"What did you two do?" Drew asks sitting next to me while Adam sits next to Dallas.

"We started arguing about who she would live with again and she got mad at us. Really mad at us, she lectured us and then hung up and now her phone's off." I tell them.

"Good going you guys were supposed to make her feel better not argue again." Adam scolds us.

"So who's Jay?" Drew inquires.

"Never heard of him, why?" Dallas asks in a harsh tone because I'm sure he's thinking like I am that this is some new guy we have to worry about.

"Because in the e-mail she sent us after hanging up on you two, I'm assuming, she tells us to make sure that you don't kill each other. And that if you can't stop arguing and give her space she'll move in with Jay." Drew says pulling up the E-mail to show me.

"There is no fucking way I'm letting her move in with some guy I don't even know!" Dallas growls as his fists clench.

"I don't know any Jay; I don't remember Clare ever talking about a Jay but she may have." Adam shrugs.

"There's no one at DeGrassi named Jay," Drew remarks.

"The only Jay I know of went to DeGrassi a few years back. I met him a couple of times; he hung out at the ravi...oh hell no she's not moving in with Jay Hogart!" I exclaim and try calling her but her phone is still off. "Damn it her phone's still off!"

I start another e-mail telling her that she'll move in with Jay over my dead body and the others are just looking at me.

"Who the hell is Jay Hogart?!" Dallas demands.

"He's gotta be in his late twenties by now, he repeated a couple grades and dropped out more than once. He was a true hood, he's a mechanic at Tony's garage now but he still hangs out and drinks at the ravine sometimes." I tell them.

"So how does Clare know this guy?" Adam asks.

"I don't know Alli dated Johnny for a while maybe through them." I shrug.

Dallas gets out his phone and sends a similar e-mail to Clare and we're all silent for a few minutes.

"She probably didn't mean it she's just upset because you two were arguing again." Adam tries to assure us.

"Yeah but she's not talking to us again," Dallas says regretfully slumping against the sofa more.

"So send her an e-mail telling her how sorry you are or better yet a video of you both begging for forgiveness. She goes back to Paris on Monday you can call Tris tomorrow and ask him and the others to relay apologizes on your behalf." Adam suggests.

"Yeah good idea," Dallas smiles and I nod.

"You sleeping over again Owen?" Drew questions.

"Yeah might as well," I nod.

"Here, use the camera to make a we're idiots and we apologize video and Adam will edit it to make you look good. He can send it to Clare on his account so that she might actually see it." Drew says handing us they're video camera.

Adam sets the camera up on the tripod on the coffee table, gives us the remote and a brief lesson then they go upstairs again. Dallas turns on the camera and starts recording, it takes a while of us talking over each other and stopping ourselves from arguing but we finally get it. Adam will have to do some editing but he already knew he would. When we're done we go to bed, I sleep on the sofa in the basement. After hearing about Clare's nightmare that's all I have all night long, nightmare's about that Dorian guy raping her, about her losing the baby and her mom sending her away. When I wake up I decide we need to make sure Dorian and any other guy is kept far away from Clare. Since I can't stop thinking about the nightmares I get up and dressed then go up to the kitchen, it's pretty early but Drew is up eating breakfast.

"Hey what are you doing up?" Drew asks when he sees me.

"After hearing about Clare's fucked up nightmare last night I had a few of my own. I can't stop thinking about them so I figured I'd come up here so I didn't wake Dallas." I explain. "What are you doing up so early?" I ask him.

"It's my turn to get the garbage cans to the curb and I forgot to do it last night so mom woke me up before the garbage truck." He gripes with a yawn then takes a bite of cereal. "So what the heck is she dreaming about anyway?" Drew questions with his mouth full.

"Well last night she dreamt that Dorian guy raped her aborting our baby and she got pregnant with his. But it was still born and he blamed her and killed her. So tonight I had a dream about him raping her cause I was thinking about it, we told her not to see him anymore but I'm not sure she'll listen." I tell him.

"Fuck, this thing is really screwing with her mind. Didn't Miles say he would keep Dorian away?" Drew questions.

"Yeah he did but I don't want any other guy near her, I don't trust her judgment right now. If tickets to Paris weren't so damned expensive I'd fly out there to watch her myself." I state.

"Considering that she slept with the both of you I don't trust her judgment at all." Drew snickers and ducks his head when I try to smack him.

"Hey what are you guys doing up?" Dallas yawns coming up the stairs.

"Had to take the garbage out," Drew says.

"Her nightmares gave me nightmares and I couldn't sleep," I reply getting up to get some breakfast too.

"You too?" Dallas queries and I look at him.

"You mean you had nightmares last night too?" I question.

"All night, I barely slept," he says as he gets down a bowl for cereal.

Over breakfast Dallas and I talk about all the nightmares we had, they're all more or less the same. Either Clare somehow loses the baby or we somehow lose her. One thing we both agree on is that Dorian should never be anywhere near Clare again and all other guys need to keep their distance. Audra comes down when we're nearly done with breakfast and says that since we're up we can help her run errands. I don't really want to run errands but I've been eating and sleeping here almost all week so I figure it's the least I can do. Of course we wake Adam up to torture him with us and the four of us go in the minivan to run a long list of errands. When we are finally done and in the Torres basement, Adam goes upstairs to get his laptop so he can start editing our apology video from last night. I have my laptop here so I get it out and sit on the sofa, Adam is on the chaise part of the sofa with headphones on. Dallas sits on one side of me and Drew on the other and I use the video chat program to call Tris. It rings a bunch of times but it's almost 9:45 there so they should be in their rooms since bed check is ten. If Tris doesn't answer I'll call Maya but he finally does answer.

"Hey bro we weren't supposed to talk today were we?" Tris asks, he's on his bed and he's not wearing a shirt.

"No not until Tuesday but I needed to talk to you guys where's Miles?" I question.

"He's in Maya's room with her," Winston tells me and I notice that he's not wearing a shirt either.

Drew hits my arm because obviously the two were doing naughty things when I called. I feel conflicted, on the one hand it's about time my brother got some, on the other hand he's fifteen and my little brother!

"Go get them," Dallas commands while I'm still pondering whether to congratulate him or yell.

Tris gets up carrying his laptop and walks down the hall and then another one before knocking on a door.

"Hang on," Maya squeaks loudly from the other side of the door.

"It's us. Owen, Dallas and Drew are calling," Tris calls to them since he can't see Adam at the moment.

It takes a moment but the door finally open and Tris makes a face, then turns the laptop so we can see that both Maya and Miles have their shirts on inside out! Drew and Dallas start laughing but I narrow my eyes at them and decide it's time to yell.

"YOU FOUR SIT DOWN!" I command. They all sit on bed that isn't one of the bunk beds and Tris puts the laptop on the bed as much in the middle of them as he can. "YOU FOUR ARE FIFTEEN AND YOU WEREN'T SENT TO PARIS SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE PARENTS AROUND AND COULD USE IT AS AN EXCUSE TO LOSE ALL COMMON SENSE AND DO THINGS YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE DOING!" I rant angrily.

My yelling is loud enough that Adam looks over at the laptop to see what's going on.

"OWEN!" Tris and Maya whine at the same time.

"I'm fifteen and he's my first boyfriend, those few dates with Fab do not count as a relationship, but just what do you think we're doing? Bed check is in ten minutes!" Tris points out wrinkling his face at me.

He has a point and honestly I'm not so worried about Tris because he actually has a pretty good head on his shoulders. Not that he hasn't done his share of stupid crap but that's what being a teenager is right? I don't really know Winston but I'm pretty sure Tris is his first boyfriend too and he seems a little on the shy awkward side. I don't really know Miles either but he seems honorable and I know he's protective of Maya and Clare so I think I can trust him. The only one I'm really worried about is Maya. She has shown before that she doesn't think when it comes to her hormones, she's worse than some teenage guys that way. Before I was friends with her and really cared what she did Cam told the whole team, in the locker room, how she took her shirt off while they were doing homework. And don't get me started on what she did at Drew's party with that Harry kid and Talia; believe me I enjoyed punching his teeth in! I can also tell she like Miles way more than Cam and I don't think she really liked Harry at all so my worries are totally valid.

"I'm fifteen Owen, Jenna was pregnant when she was my age and that Mia girl Clare is with was pregnant at thirteen!" Maya snaps back then crosses her arms over her chest to pout.

"That's my point!" I exclaim throwing up my arms and almost hitting Drew in the face.

"You are not my da…" Maya is arguing but I cut her off.

"Okay that's it! Dallas find me a flight to Paris I'm going over there! I'm going to get a chastity belt for Maya! Neuter the three of you! Keep all other guys away from Clare by bringing her back here so we can watch her!" I declare angrily hopping up and heading for the door so I can go home and pack! Drew leaps up and grabs me by the ear pulling me back down to the sofa. "OW! Fuck dude!" I gripe rubbing my ear when he lets go.

"First of all you don't have the money to fly all the way to Paris dummy. Second of all you can tell Tris, Winston, Maya and Miles not to do sexual things all you want, you can threaten them and lecture them but they're fifteen year old horny teenagers it's not going to do any good. You know as well as I do that they'll find a way and you telling them no probably only makes them want to do it more." Drew advises and he's supposed to be the dumb one. I grumble a little and stare at the four sex crazed fifteen year olds on the laptop screen. "Third of all if you try and drag Clare home she will run and she'll probably run straight to Dorian just to piss you two off!" He finishes.

"Why didn't any of us go to Paris?" Dallas questions.

"Because the three of us weren't eligible and Adam didn't want to go," Drew responds.

"Well uh not sure I can put you at ease about the four of us but Dorian hasn't been back. If he does show up looking for Clare you have my word that I'll take care of him." Miles tells us.

"Thanks Miles we knew we could trust you and we have a job for you while you're out there if you think you're up for it." Dallas tells him.

"Sure what is it?" Miles questions.

"Clare's not talking to us again a…"

"Again? When was she talking to you and what'd you do to screw it up?" My bother questions interrupting me and I glower at him.

"None of your damn business," I bark at him. "Anyway Dallas and I know Clare is bound to get hit on again and maybe even asked out. We can't be there to keep the guys away so we want you to be our proxy." I tell Miles.

"Not that you have to follow her around or anything but if you're with her and a guy hits on her scare them off. If she manages to make a date with a guy and you find out about it make sure you grill him and make it very clear she's taken and if he touches her he'll die." Dallas states.

"Yeah exactly," I nod.

"Clare is going to kill you two," Adam says shaking his head but we ignore him.

"I'd be happy to be your proxy," Miles grins. "I can't really do anything while she's in London but she's back tomorrow. I swear no guy will even get as far as hitting on her if I can help it." He promises.

"Thanks we knew you were the right one for the job," I smile.

"Clare is going to kill you two but I'll help. I mean she might be carrying my nephew, I don't want just any guy macking on her and giving their germs to the baby." Tris says and I smile at my brother again.

"This sounds like a bad idea to me," Maya disputes.

"That's because it is bad idea," Adam speaks up.

Drew stays silent but he is cocking an eyebrow at us to show he clearly thinks this a bad idea.

"Why don't you just try to talk to her again?" Tris questions.

"She turned off her phone again," I reply just as the sliding glass door opens and Lucas Valieri of all people steps in. "Uh we have to go, talk you guys on Tuesday." I tell them quickly and then close the video chat program and the laptop. Dallas, Drew and Adam have no idea who Lucas is so they're just staring at him. "Let me guess Mia called you?" I question.

"Yup, so which of you three is Dallas so I can knock your heads together?" Lucas asks.

"Lucas Valieri this is Mike Dallas, I tell him pointing to Dallas. Uh that's Drew and Adam Torres." I introduce them and the brothers wave while sizing Lucas up.

"Nice to meet you," Lucas grins coming over and literally knocking mine and Dallas' heads together.

"OW!" We both gripe rubbing our heads and Lucas sits on the coffee table.

"Clare says to back the hell off and give her some space, oh and stop arguing." He tells us.

"She couldn't have just e-mailed Adam to yell at us again?" Dallas complains holding his head.

"She doesn't know what she wants to do with the baby and you two arguing about it is stressing her out so knock it off!" Lucas orders.

"Hey at least we're here for her you dropped Mia as soon as you knew!" I counter angrily.

"Yeah I know but I was younger and dumber than you and I regret it now. I thought I wanted to go out and be a kid, party and drink, have no responsibility but now my daughter lives in Paris and I barely see her." Lucas tells us.

"We're not going to do that though, we want her to keep the baby and help her raise it. We know it'll be hard and we'll have to give up a lot but it'll be worth it." Dallas counters and I nod.

"Which is great only Clare's not so sure she wants to keep the baby and you two are putting pressure on her to keep it, you have to back off. I might not have been with Mia or there for her while she was pregnant or when Izzy was a baby but I saw her at school and when she visited the house to see Jane and my mom. Pregnant women got all these hormones and it makes them all crazy, crazier than normal, it also makes them horny as hell later on. Anyway Clare's got enough going on without you two telling her what you want." Lucas tells us.

"If they start arguing and acting like idiots again can I call you over to know their heads together again?" Adam asks and we glare at him.

"Sure, what's your number?" Lucas asks getting out his phone. Adam tells Lucas his number and Lucas puts it in his phone then sends Adam a text thereby giving Adam his number. Then Lucas' phone makes some other noise and he looks at it, clicks on something and his eyes go wide as his mouth drops open. "Holy fuck that's Baby Edwards now?! Jesus no wonder you guys fucked her! Damn and she looks hot in red!" Lucas drools.

I would punch him out but I want to know what the fuck he's talking about first. I grab Lucas' phone out of his hand as Adam moves over to see too. There are 4 pictures of Clare with Mia, the pictures are on Mia's facerange page and they're at some party. I click on the first one to make it bigger. It's Clare and Mia at a table, Mia is in a skimpy black dress, Clare is wearing a deep red dress with a low neckline and it's also pretty skimpy, she does look really sexy though. Then there's one of her dancing with Mia, then the next two are her and Mia at a table with two guys and one of them has his arm around Clare!

"Okay let's go!" I exclaim getting up and Dallas does the same.

"Guys you can't go to Paris because Clare is at some party," Adam calls after us.

We're almost at the door when Lucas and Drew stop us.

"She's not just at some party she's at some fancy party with some British dude and he's got his arm around her!" I growl.

"He needs to die and she needs to come home," Dallas states as we try to move past them but they stop us.

"Are they serious?" Lucas asks Drew.

"They got one of the other kids in Paris to keep all other guys away from her," Drew nods.

"Oh she's going to love that," Lucas says rolling his eyes.

"She's carrying our kid she can't just…" Dallas is saying but gets cut off when Lucas knocks our heads together again.

"I get why you're both worried and protective but I wouldn't worry about Clare dating some other guy." Lucas tells me.

"Why because she's pregnant? Not all guys will care and not if they like her!" I respond rubbing my head again.

"No because Mia told me Clare loves you both."

**Update next Monday starting around her in Dallas' pov cause he hasn't had one yet and I think it's about time he did and some Miles pov cause it's about time he had one.**

**Thanks to tomfeltonlover1991 and AJackson16for the help**


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